Tuesday, April 30, 2002

 

4/30/02

You know what, they say that beauty's in the eye of the beholder.
So I use my third, and now I love thee silently like a boulder.
Want to be with you as I get older.
And that's my word, sure as I stand on my ancestors' shoulders.
You see through my drama and my world like a stage.
Not the same years but living in the same age.
Just the quality, not the quantity.
Follow me, definitely,
Far from probably, got to be,
You and me, beautifully, thick like pieces of the man I used to be.
Now I'm back, cause of what you do to me.
You like my reflection, better half to my whole;
Like lyrics to the beat, you the mate for my soul;
The breath for my life, my sister and my lover;
Used to have cold feet, I want you under my covers.
I can't ignore your aura 'cause it grabbed me by the hand
Like the moon pulled the tide and the tide pulled the sand

Coming to school and seeing her face makes the trip worth all the while.

I'm not a player, I just crush a lot.
...or something.

Anyways, I'm out people. Late.

Today's Score: 31-27 = 4
I'll give you the negatives:
-My friend is suffering from the stomach flu. (-5)
-My friend sulked in 3rd period. (-7)
-My friends and I forced Maddy out of her seat in english unintentionally.
I felt like an ass until I started doodling during the movie. (-10)
"You and your sister..............ARE FREE TO GO!" as if they just won a friggin' spot on The Price Is Right.
-My geography teacher, Mr. Osen, might not be teaching AP Human Geography next year due to
a decline of 5 students. Save the class, you save me as well. (-5)

-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 8:47 PM.

Monday, April 29, 2002

 

4/29/02

Can you stand the rain?

Life isn't the big pool of cream soda you think it is.
Life isn't the big pool of Eminem you think it is either.
Don't take life seriously, or it'll take you seriously.
"When one stares into the the abyss long enough, the abyss stares into you."
Food for thought.

...

Yeah, ok, I just copied that from my away message. But yeah, read it over.
Nothing in this world is worth all the stress. Let it ride.
Ebb and flow, my friends. Ebb and flow. Don't worry about it, just work it.

I know way too many people who let stress get to them.
So, they turn to many other things.
Whether it be alchohol or drugs. Why drink when you can sleep?
Or confiding in others or dancing. Why smoke when you can groove?

I made my counselor smile today. Something I've been told was impossible.
You cats who have Lacy know what I'm talking about.
Beat some ass in the most manly sport alive....badminton (or however you spell it).
I'm sitting next to a bunch of cool cats in english. It's my bio. table. =)
Geog. was extremely boring, but easy.
Ride home was relaxing, I don't know why.
Fell asleep while my friend was in the other room.
I guess I should start sleeping early....
12:30 sounds fine, yeah?

Anways, have a good day tommorow.
No, in fact, anticipate and embrace the good day you'll have tommorow.

Nobody wants to be lonely. I need a girl....

School.....
I wonder if the number of people who look forward to seeing me everyday, are the same number of people I look forward to seeing myself.

Peace be the journey, people.
-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 8:25 PM.

Saturday, April 27, 2002

 

4/27/02

Can you count from 1 to 10?
Can you recite your ABC's?
If I say so, will you be there then?
If I asked you politely, would you leave?

I can count from 1 to 10.
I can recite my ABC's.
If you ask, I'll be there then.
Ask politely, I will leave.

Can you respect what I value?
Can you look at me equally?
If necessary, would you build me a statue?
If needed, would you part the sea?

I will respect what you value.
I can look at you equally.
It's neccessary, you need a statue.
For you, I'd part the sea.

Can you hold a person in need?
Can you wipe away your tears?
Someone's heart, could you read?
Someone's scared, dispell their fears?

I'll hold you in times of need.
I'll wipe away your tears.
Your heart, I can read.
I will push away your fear.

Could you love someone like I?
Do you know what I know?
Let's talk, let us try.
Together, we could flow.

I could love someone like you.
I know what you know.
My heart will no longer be blue.
Together, we could flow.

If she only knew.....
-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 11:26 PM.

 

4/27/02

Ugh..."leave it up to RyRy to wake up late..."=/

Gues I'll have to do my community service some other time. Sorry everyone who was expecting me to be there.

Ryan posted this at 1:25 PM.

Thursday, April 25, 2002

 

4/25/02

Well, what can I say? Everyone saw me walk around with a smile on my face and laughed at the humor I spouted.
And once again, I illuminated my facade with a disguise from my collection. Everyone in my biology class my stunning array
of jest.
So yeah, tommorow'll be my birthday. But you guys probably won't be reading this until tommorow and after, so it's a little late.
Oh well, I advertised enough this month, heh. I wonder what's going to go down? Will I get presents? Balloons? Money? Birthday punches?
Fun for everyone. But, seriously, I'd rather just get a 'happy birthday' from everyone than money or balloons or present. I have enough $$$.
But then again, I wouldn't mind any of the aformentioned items.
Found out my 'friends', being the intelligently declined bastards they are spread the word that my brothers and I were alone for a month.
Now, everyone from the volleyball team to drama cats to the 'geeks' and beyond are asking me about it.
I don't mind having everyone know, I just wanted them to get the message from me.
I told a few people, and I had this idea that we could get some down time or I could get some alone time finally.
Because I hardly get any alone time. A teenager has a lot to balance out.
But now, I'm getting more phone calls, IMs, text messages and conversations with people.
Even people I hardly converse with are asking when the party is going to begin.
Well, we're having a lil' 'shin dig' tommorow. If you want to call it a party, go ahead. Set your self aflame.
As long as nothing is damaged, you guys can chill.

No, I didn't vote. Sorry everyone. I promised each and every one of you that I'd vote for you.
Not very smart on my part. I hate it when I know almost everyone on the ballot. It makes it that much harder to vote.
I said to myself, "Ok. Choose the person best appointed for the job."
The truth is, each and everyone of them are capable.
I didn't vote today. I'm going to vote tommorow. And then I'm going to leave the President section on the ballot blank.

My schedule this year was tiight. I only hope that next year's schedule will be awesome as well.
And I hope next year, I won't have to work as I didn't this year. When I get to college, I'm not going to try at all.
Funny, I said that same thing last year about highschool, and it almost came true.

Love to live, live to love. Peace be the journey.
Love to all those that know me and to those that will soon know me.

Now back to Wish Upon A Star. Good thing none of my bro's are reading this (I think). I'm such a damn herb (AKA dork).

-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 9:22 PM.

Wednesday, April 24, 2002

 

4/24/02

Interesting day today...

They're now gone....for a month....what am I going to do?! Ga-Hag-Ya!

I was called/told many things throughout the day.

Kristina said I was 'cool'. As if I knew what that meant.
Various people told me I'm nice. I'm just flowing.
It was brought to my attention that I'm "rich" and I'm too loose with my money. I wish money meant something more to me. Still, I budget the shit.
I was told that I"m funny. Do you think trying to start the wave in the middle of testing is funny? Seriously, Binh, I really wanted it to happen.
A lot of peeps also asked why I wasn't running for anything. To be honest, I didn't know about sign-ups and even if I did, I don't think I would've ran for anything.
They say I would've been a great choice to represent our class. I highly doubt it. I get bored easily.
Sure, I can converse with a crowd if I wanted to. Yes, I could take your ideas and report them to the 'upper classman'. But, no, that's not enough.
They said that if I had ran, they would have voted for me. Bullshit you would have (excuse my french). You wouldn't have voted at all.
But, if I were President, I would've prolly started off by trying to revert all this peppy, conformed, pop shit that the ASB is stationed at.
Also try to revamp their sign approaches. But, again, that's not enough.
I'm not saying that that's all that ASB does, but you try telling me what else ASB does.
Exactly, you don't know. The student population doesn't even participate enough to know the inner workings of ASB or even to ask for stuff.
We can't do our job without your consent and insight.
You guys are always constantly bitching about the school and it's wrecked condition.
First of all, it all starts with you. Keep the campus clean. Stop throwing shit at the seagulls (forgive my french).
Leave the ducks that occassionally visit alone you cruel, cruel bastards. Tell the advisors what you want.
Only then can the school start improving. But, just remember, the ASB can't do everything. Not with Mr. Singh.
Besides, I probably wouldn't have won anyhow running up against cats such as:
the beautiful, fervent Kristina Schroeder;
the sophisticated, fervent Amy Lee;
-and-
the trenchant, fervent Brittney Sochaiwsky (I know I just decimated her name...)

There, some vocabulary for you to look up and learn. And yes, fervent has 3 different definitions. Mix and match, see what works. =)

If there was some freak chance that I did win, I probably wouldn't have changed the school as much as any of these 3 will. I'd be looking at
my position as advocate of next year's sophmore class as an extra mark on my transcript.
Sure, maybe later on in my highschool life I'll run again. But at that time, I'll know when the sign-ups are, I'll know why I'm running for myself and I'll have
a whole grip of supporters.
But for now, I'm going to bubble on some cream soda, cool my mind. As you might have perceived, I'm not in an especially chippy mood as of now.
Why? Maybe tommorow, maybe. Yeah, I'll tell you all tommorow...I think.
I can't think straight after I rant. Good thing it doens't happen often.

Stuck on the fences that separate 'cool', funny, intelligent and romantic. Though I travel each section's perimeters constantly, I've yet to cross over.
The only things I've learned in school have been from my fellow classmates, not the teachers.

Well, I'm out. Cream soda is gone and Whose Line Is It Anyways? is on.
See you all manana. G*night. Love to live, live to love.

By the way, is it just me or does Jerry Renault remind you of a Packard with a high-pitched, sqeaky voice? The peeps who've seen The Chocolate War know what I'm talking about.

Anways, I'm out.
-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 10:22 PM.

Tuesday, April 23, 2002

 

4/23/02

Someone came up and asked me about my hair today.
I told her the same thing I always say:
"It keeps me balanced."

A lot of people have asked me what that means I've never really told anyone before.
Well, it's a little hard, but I'll try explain.

See, back in the day I was always making fun of people. Not to their faces, but not out loud either.
Because of my "heightened intelligence" I had this stupid idea that I was better than everyone.
While talking to others, I was always secretly pointing out their flaws in my mind.

Well, during one trip to San Francisco, I underwent a haircut. Since my oldest brother had gotten one, I got one as well (plus
the fact that my cousins kept asking me 'why not?', hehe). It was the "breaker haircut". Shaved head with nothing but the
bangs.

Came back. It was all good. But, I knew that just like how I was mocking people in my mind, people were doing the same to me.
I was angry. See, I'm not used to being made fun of seriously and I wasn't either back then.
I wanted a normal haircut again.

But I stopped myself. I realized how stupid it was to judge people. I kept the haircut and over the next few years went through a
mental relapse. Whenever I thought of the flaws in a person, I remembered my hair. It kept me balance.
Since then, I've never made fun of person seriously. At least, I hope I haven't.

At the same time, it's help me filter the people of our society.
When I first meet people, I know they're focusing on my hair in their head.
But, it helps people get passed the physical somewhat.

But no matter what you say, I know you're reading this over and saying to yourself, "Right. Anyways, you still look retarded."
Nobody admits it, but you all want me to get a haircut. You might be saying to yourself, "No, seriously Ryan. It looks good."
But deep down inside, you wouldn't mind seeing me with a different style.

Well, I forgive you, people. Live with it.

Oh, in case you're wondering....
Today's Score: 20-16 = 4
-Made an ass out of myself in P.E. It was fun. (+5)
-Annoyed my partner, Simon, because I couldn't serve the damn birdie. Hehe. (-2)
-Won all 3 games. (+5)
-Contemplate on my school-life and my social life. Found something about myself. (+5)
-My remake of "Starry Night" is looking like shit, despite what my table says. (-4)
-Wondered why I hang out with the peeps I do during my time at lunch. Mad cause I was being a superficial bastard. (-10)
-SAT 9 went well. I did fairly well on the Bio. conversed, mingled and humored before, in-between, during and after the test.
Not a bad way to start a day. (+5)

Anways people, I'm out. Love to live, live to love. Peace.

I hate school. If not for the persons there I see every day, I wouldn't go. Or at least, try to not go.
See y'all there. Keep yourselves happy. It'll save you a lot of trouble.
-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 4:53 PM.

Monday, April 22, 2002

 

4/22/02

First time using this Blogger shignizzy. It's not bad.

Well, today was actually a good day. That is after you filter all the negative material.
"Negative material?" I can hear you all thinking.
Well, maybe not negative as in completely bad or evil. More like, wind shifting the way my leaf is going.
What I mean is, demonstatratums that went awry.
Lost 2 deals today. Which means I lost myself 40 d's. But it's all good. Easily made up in a matter of days. (-2)
Also, talked to the person I wanted to talk to most, but made a complete ass of myself. Then again, I always do.
Not exactly in the sense that I made an ass out of myself that she thinks i'm a total gimp, but more like,
let's-just-be-friends ass out of myself. (-4)
And then, I didn't talk to the people I needed/wanted to talk to. (-6)
SAT 9 math offset me in the morning. Was only halfway when we had 8 minutes left. Luckily, the last 20 problems were
beyond basic. (-20)

You keeping score? I am.

Well, talked to a lot of people today.
Made some laugh. Made some think. Made some bewildered. Made some smile. (+4)
Made my teachers laugh. (+16)
Gave advice:
Arianne, don't worry. He'll come back. Just wait it out of pursue. You both want eachother back, you both just have too much pride to admit it. (+10)
Jasmine, hope it's all good. I'm sorry to hear that. Just talk it over with her, set it straight. She's a nice broad. She'll understand. (+10)
Jun, bro. Seriously, limit yourself at the next party. Don't want anything like that happening again. I won't back you up next time. (+5)

I hate school, yet I'm going again tommorow. See you guys and sincerely hope you cats have a nice day tommorow.

Today's Score - 45-32 = 13
Oooh....good or bad? You decide.

Anways. G*night.
-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 10:38 PM.