Tuesday, April 23, 2002

 

4/23/02

Someone came up and asked me about my hair today.
I told her the same thing I always say:
"It keeps me balanced."

A lot of people have asked me what that means I've never really told anyone before.
Well, it's a little hard, but I'll try explain.

See, back in the day I was always making fun of people. Not to their faces, but not out loud either.
Because of my "heightened intelligence" I had this stupid idea that I was better than everyone.
While talking to others, I was always secretly pointing out their flaws in my mind.

Well, during one trip to San Francisco, I underwent a haircut. Since my oldest brother had gotten one, I got one as well (plus
the fact that my cousins kept asking me 'why not?', hehe). It was the "breaker haircut". Shaved head with nothing but the
bangs.

Came back. It was all good. But, I knew that just like how I was mocking people in my mind, people were doing the same to me.
I was angry. See, I'm not used to being made fun of seriously and I wasn't either back then.
I wanted a normal haircut again.

But I stopped myself. I realized how stupid it was to judge people. I kept the haircut and over the next few years went through a
mental relapse. Whenever I thought of the flaws in a person, I remembered my hair. It kept me balance.
Since then, I've never made fun of person seriously. At least, I hope I haven't.

At the same time, it's help me filter the people of our society.
When I first meet people, I know they're focusing on my hair in their head.
But, it helps people get passed the physical somewhat.

But no matter what you say, I know you're reading this over and saying to yourself, "Right. Anyways, you still look retarded."
Nobody admits it, but you all want me to get a haircut. You might be saying to yourself, "No, seriously Ryan. It looks good."
But deep down inside, you wouldn't mind seeing me with a different style.

Well, I forgive you, people. Live with it.

Oh, in case you're wondering....
Today's Score: 20-16 = 4
-Made an ass out of myself in P.E. It was fun. (+5)
-Annoyed my partner, Simon, because I couldn't serve the damn birdie. Hehe. (-2)
-Won all 3 games. (+5)
-Contemplate on my school-life and my social life. Found something about myself. (+5)
-My remake of "Starry Night" is looking like shit, despite what my table says. (-4)
-Wondered why I hang out with the peeps I do during my time at lunch. Mad cause I was being a superficial bastard. (-10)
-SAT 9 went well. I did fairly well on the Bio. conversed, mingled and humored before, in-between, during and after the test.
Not a bad way to start a day. (+5)

Anways people, I'm out. Love to live, live to love. Peace.

I hate school. If not for the persons there I see every day, I wouldn't go. Or at least, try to not go.
See y'all there. Keep yourselves happy. It'll save you a lot of trouble.
-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 4:53 PM.