Saturday, January 25, 2003

 

1/25/03

I felt like a little kid in a department store that just lost his parents. So alone, so angry...so misunderstood. Where was I? Why am I here? Who is this person that is making me angry? Why bother trying to make them see what they're doing wrong? But then I realized it wasn't so bad. And instead of driving my fist to a face like in past instances, I rubbed my necklace. A calm swept over me, and I just laughed. Victory feels a lot better when the other person is confused, angrily wondering what is going on, than when he is on the ground bleeding.

I've never been this angry since 6th grade.....now I remember why.

I've only been in 4 fights in my life. I won every single one of them. I also felt like the biggest fool in the world after.
I accomplished nothing other than exposing the demon to everyone around me. One day I promised a friend of mine that I would never fight someone physically again unless it was a life or death situation. Not even for her. The necklace is my reminder.

How can someone take happiness for granted? Only the tempestuous can tell you.

I'm out.
-Ryan

Ryan posted this at 11:37 PM.