Saturday, May 17, 2003

 

5/17/03

I've done the most Z catching this week then I've done this whole year. I don't know why. I think its because I've had an easier time falling asleep with this new method or whatnot.
New method? Um...yeah...its called thinking about certain stuff. It works.

Academically...the past few days haven't exactly been the best but socially, its all good. I've tied up loose ends I've head throughout the year and I'm hanging out with a lot of old friends. I've met a lot of new cats the past few days, so i'm trilling with a smile during break and lunch.

Yeah, we had to write poems for english. I wrote one. I read it to the class. The whole class laughed. They loved it. Ms. Shipp loved it too. Ms. Shipp swiped it from me. Ms. Shipp submitted it for publication. Ryan is in a mental shamble. Confuzzling, yeah?

I don't know why but all the girls I know are suffering from some sort of drama. I'd love to help out in some way, but I can't.
I'm suffering from a lil drama myself...but its like...a personal kind or whatnot? If anyone knows me, I'm constantly bored. Usually, I can keep myself entertained in my thoughts about everything that's going and I smile. People are always asking why I'm smiling....its because I know something you don't.
But lately, I've felt like nothing but an ass.

Know what sucks about being me? Kristina and Jasmine say that I'm a choosy lover, but to be honest...I think I juss fall too easily. Though, there are those few, definite potentials, I find myself having something for multiple girls at a time. You know, I've been a chaster all my life, maybe its time I've lounged out and let it trill.
I'm also more intelligent than most of my friends. On top of that, I'm a nice guy. So whenever I feel like verbally maiming someone because of a retarded comment they made or whatnot, I can't. Its hell sitting there during lunch and all you want to do is hand out stupid smacks and bust out some hater walks.
Another thing...I don't know why, but I hate myself. Well, I wouldn't say hate myself but I don't think I'm up to par with what people are always telling me.
You ever find a crying puppy? It juss breaks your heart to see them in that situation, so you pick them up and decide to take it home or rush it to the vet? But they end up trying to bite you? Despite that, you continue with your duty and ultimately you've saved or changed it for the better? Well, I see my friends sometimes and I feel doing juss that.....but it doesn't always work out....and that's what really kills me.

As much as I hate to say it....you can't always keep everyone happy. I've always known that, but I guess I've juss been too optimistic.
I'm not down, its juss late and I'm thinking more than I usually do. Love to live, live to love.

Docking out...
-Ryan : as filipino as pork adobo

Ryan posted this at 12:56 AM.