Wednesday, June 11, 2003

 

6/11/03

You know what I juss realized? I update this thing so late, the date is already ahead one day than the day I'm currently writing about. Yup.

You know, she occupied my head the whole day. I don't know why. I've never been in this situation before. Its crazy. How can someone you're sure you have no feelings for, other than friendship, be the basis of all your thoughts?

My friend didn't believe me that I used to have a short-temper back in the day. Well, I did.

Em reminded me of the fact that I don't open up to a lot people. The fact that I know more about all my friends than they know about me should have been a sign. A lot of people don't know me at all, knowing me only superficially. Perhaps its time for some emotional catharsis? Then again, I wouldn't really have much to spout about. I live a pretty stress-free, flowing life.

I wrote about 3 poems today. I usually don't write that much. Well, not on paper, anyways.

If you lived in my head, you'd never be bored. I'm always thinking of stuff.

Half the people I know know me as quiet, laid-back and friendly. The other half know me as witty, entertaining and funny.

Its all relative.

STORY TIME!!!!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

And right here is "Sarang Hae" (below it is the newest story, "Perfect")

=-=-=

He glanced up at his watch as his arm swung up in front of him. As it swerved in and out of his sight he blurred out a 7:48 AM. He smiled. He was doing a lot better since he started this whole jogging thing. It was usually already around 7:50 by the time he passed old Ms. Johnson's. He jogged another block before he stopped, deciding to take a lil water break. He tilted his head back as he downed some aqua, noticing the non-azure sky. Strange...it was particularly cloudy this morning. Oh, that's right...he remembered the little storm that was going to be passing through the county for the next few days. He put on his hood as a few drops of water suddenly landed on his head. It had been a while since he had been out in the rain. In fact, he hadn't been outside in the rain since he was a child. Back when he was at the orphanage...

---

"Everyone! Everyone! Please line up and come to the living room! We have some very special people here today looking for a special kid!" announced Mrs. Foster. She jubilantly smiled to all her 'children.' Everyone jumped in line and marched from the bedroom and down the stairs.

"Hey, you think the couple today is a nice one? Like the Mose couple? They were super nice, weren't they? Oh, oh! You think they'll pick me? I hope they do! And we'll all be a happy family in a 2 story home with a real backyard! That would be fabulous, don't you think?!" It was Trina again. She was his best friend at the orphanage. And as always, she was fantasizing the perfect life she'd live with her foster parents. She did this every time.

"Haha, of course you will, Trina. You know you always get chosen for interviews!" he replied with enthusiasm. But she frowned. Dang it! He said the wrong thing! It was true, she always did get picked for interviews. He couldn't blame the couples. She was the most adorable girl he knew! But, there was one thing that broke her spirit and had kept her from attaining her perfect fantasy. She had a birthmark along her right temple. It was always an important factor for these people. She had always been embarassed about her birthmark, but now she hated it.

They were introduced to the couple of the day, the Miller's. They were all told to go outside and play while the Miller's spoke to Mrs. Foster about the potentials.

Trina was down and she slowly roamed her way to the garden. He gently follwed her, her sadness weeping its way into him.
He sat next to her.

"Are you okay?"

"Why do I always do this? I'm never going to get chosen, despite how many times I get interviewed..."

"Now that isn't true. You're going to get chosen, Trina. And do you know why?" He stood up in front of her, gently lifting her chin so she would gaze at him. "Because you're smart, talented....a good dancer! You're funny and..and...everyone loves you!" He stopped for a second, picking a rose from the nearby patch. He placed it on her right ear, concealing the birthmark and stared at her for a second. Admiring the beauty he had lived with for most of his life. "...and you're beautiful."

She smiled, her cheeks turning red.

"Trina! Trina? Are you out here?" yelled Mrs. Foster. She got up, looked at him with a wonderful smile. Her 'thank you' for cheering her up. She ran inside.

---

From the top of the stairs, most of the kids listened intently to the conversation the adults were housing. He was sitting in the window, sketching the large tree where he and Trina always chatted at.

"Hey, they said they made their decision! They're leaving right now!

"Really? Who? Who are they adopting?"

"I don't know, I didn't hear. Who do you think it is?"

No one else had a clue. Half of the kids were still outside.
....But he knew. As he looked out the window, he saw four figures walking towards a car. 3 tall adults and 1 small child.
A rose on the right side of her head.

The sky was of a non-azure. He heard a storm was coming through, but he swore mother nature was conducting his emotions outside for him. All the kids ran inside as the adults opened their umbrellas.

She turned, and waved. It was the last time he saw little Trina. The image of her face blurring as the rain splattered the window.

---

He had continued jogging. It was all he could do. It was better than sitting there feeling down, so he ran. No one ever finds their true love as a kid. It was impossible. He was barely looking up, all he could do was hang his head until he felt better. He forced himself to look up. He stopped. That woman he just passed up...

He backtracked, stopping next to the young lady.

"Trina?"

She gave him a glance. She had long hair that curved down both sides of her face. Her eyes were of a deep brown. Despite the gloomy settings, her face shined brightly. She rivaled beauty, alright. She gave him an inquisitive look.

"Have we met?"

He was in shock. Could it actually been her? It had been 15 years. What should he say?

Suddenly, a strong breeze hit. He almost lost his balance. Her umbrella fluttered, bringing her with it a few inches.
It was then that he noticed. Her hair flowing in the wind. He glanced at her right temple. There was nothing there.

"...Oh, I...I must have mistaken you for another Trina....sorry for bothering you, ma'am."

He got himself together and jogged off. He couldn't believe himself. It couldn't have been her! The world wasn't that small. What was he thinking?!
It had been 15 years. She probably was raised up the way she envisioned. She probably was the most popular girl at her highschool. A cheerleader, ASB president, going steady with the football team captain, on the debate team, loved by everyone. She probably was 22 now, in the middle of college, majoring in engineering and engaged to a well-known and respected entrepeneur!
He felt like such a fool. But he couldn't let it go. He just couldn't get over it...

---

She stood there in the rain. The wind had shifted the umbrella from her head. The rain sure was pouring this morning! She was already drenched so she decided to walk the rest of the way back without it. She didn't care if she'd catch a cold, she was just glad to be back to be in town. But what a strange encounter! Haha, he actually knew her name! How many girls could there be named Trina? Haha, oh well, she thought. She continually wiped her face, clearing the blur in her eyes from the rain.
She arrived in her home and walk to her bathroom as she prepared the shower. She just couldn't believe how badly it was raining!

It was raining almost as hard as the day she left the orphanage, she thought to herself, as she rubbed the birthmark on her right temple. She laughed, the rain had washed away her make-up.

=-=-=

"PERFECT"


He sat there, on the futon, while his friend chattered away about his catch of the weekend. A graceful, asian broad whose beauty was as high as her IQ. But he wasn't in the mood to hear about girls. It was an ironic thing, being that the only thing currently occupying his mind was a girl. His buddy's voice drowned out as he got lost in thought. His voice going from a deep masculinity to a graceful, feminine serenade. He recognized the voice immediately. It was hers.

She had been on his mind night and day for the past week. He was in a confused state. He was beyond that. He felt like a fool.

There was room for doubt, but he was sure that at some point, she was feeling him too. But at that time, he wasn't so sure. It wasn't until later that he started feeling the same way.
However, at that time, she was digging on someone else. And so it went for a while, on and off, on and off...but lately, it seemed like the teeter-totter had finally evened out. The two had been getting awfully close...

Should he had succumbed to her courtesy? He could see that she was vying for his attention but like a shy fool, he pushed it away. The following day, he came with a purpose. But she too pushed it away.

But yesterday, it suddenly seemed perfect. The two had stopped their affectionate struggles for a small moment in time. The power had dissipated into both camps as the two sat along, resting together. For the first time in his life, the kid felt at peace.

But once again, the power the two had temporarily shared had shifted within the following day. Once again, it was in her possession and she used it against him like no other.

So, he sat there, ignoring his friend's conquest, thinking about that single joyous moment. And he thought maybe, if he juss waited it out again, he could reattain the moment of affecionate jubilation. That given enough time, it would be perfect.

=-=-=

Word. You dig? Well, this mamma-jamma is brain-dead for th night.

Docking out...
-Ryan : as filipino as puto (the kind you eat, smartass)

Ryan posted this at 11:16 PM.