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The OoOoWeE Insight And the world makes sense once again. 
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Thursday, January 29, 20041/29/04
Advice of the Day: Don't be a Ryan!
As one thing fell into the place, the rest fell apart.
I wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anyone. I can't imagine forgetting all your memories, let alone, yourself and the ones that you love.
I've been dealing with a couple of personal things in the past week, so I'm sorry if I've seemed...for a lack of a better word, different?
But 'tis all good, my homie. Given a little time and you know this man!
If you don't wanna party, then you ain't Ryan Mose!
My life is like Cheers. Everybody knows my name.
I tried running for MHHS Senior class presidente, but no one would listen to me.
Do your part! Contribute to the "Get Ryan A New Binder!" fund!
Please, it's RY-diculous, not ridiculous. Get it straight!
English juss...isn't as fun anymore, I'm sorry. Here's the basic rundown: there's our corner, then there's the rest of the class. Our corner likes to discuss the topic in our corner, and we do it intellectually and we are, more often than not, getting the right interpretation of things. The rest of the class likes to squabble and babble about their own interpretations of the topic that are clearly out of the ballpark.
So why don't we correct them? 'Cause we're cool like that.
Honestly, its way too loud in that class. Hard to imagine, I know. You really have no idea.
Essays? Nothing.
I still don't like doing them, though.
Paula Abdul is one sickly woman.
Did you know that in Morocco, the symbol of love is not the heart, but the liver?
Would you drive behind someone whose license plate holder said: "I'd rather be sleeping."?
Speaking of cars, I'm certain she could cause car crashes with juss the bat of her eyes.
I vaguely remember her eyes. They were deep eyes that bordered on sexy and came short of mysterious. The type of eyes that made you feel violated when she looked at you for more than 5 seconds.
I see her every so often now, but its out of the corner of my eye. And by the time I realized that beauty juss passed me by once again and I'm about to sport a witty greeting, she's gone, teleported across the way.
Baby, I juss can't chill right.
No, really. What's happened to me?
I'm 50% immature, I know.
I'm also 100% moron, don't you forget it.
Y'all juss went heavy on the weak sauce.
You can't dance and stay uptight.
Well, its a marvelous night for a moondance, with the stars up above in your eyes. A fantabulous night to make romance, 'neath the cover of [January] skies...
Docking out...
-Ryan : needs someone to make him believe it
Ryan posted this at 9:35 PM.1/22/04
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Lately, I've been finding it hard to balance everything.
Every now and then I'll go off on tangents in certain fields of my life.
Its annoying and nothing like the normal me.
...or something.
I'm something of a homebody. I mean, I'll go out, for sure. However, I'm content with juss lounging out at home.
Well, most of the time.
Read my mind? My thoughts probably aren't that far off from yours.
I really, really took her presence for granted.
Honestly, at times I'm at a loss for words, and I don't know why.
Oh, that's right...its because she's beyond words. I forgot.
You have to have gone there in order to come back.
Things that suck:
-Spontaneous combustion
-Phobophobia
-Insecurity
-The Unit Circle
-Essays
-Burdens
-Having nothing work out in the end.
-Some of the people who auditioned for American Idol and other such shows showcasing talent.
-Being so honest that you have to lie in order to keep yourself entertained.
-Vacuums
-Having your wit come and go.
Look! Over there! What's that?!
Docking out...
-Ryan : "The Champion of Anything and Everything"
Ryan posted this at 10:06 PM.1/17/04
Sunday, January 18, 2004
Party in Hell cancelled due to fire.
My status as an uncle has been recently reimbursed.
I've been getting a lot of headaches recently. Por que? No se.
School? 'Tis all good, my homie.
However, I feel like I am taking too much of an advantage of McNalley.
By the way..."The cow is of the bovine ilk. One end is moo, the other milk."
For serious - For realz - Fo sheezy.
From sophisticated to ghetto in three easy steps.
Patience: I was born with plenty.
Glances are enough to get me through.
I only need one to think about the entire day.
Why is it that I can get people to do things, but I can't get myself to do something?
Was I even in your mind at all?
It should be me.
But it isn't.
And its all good?
There's more to add to this chapter, I'm sure.
=-=-=
I had trouble sleeping last night. I was tossing and turning for what must've been an hour. For some reason, I juss couldn't stop thinking about her.
I tried to count sheep, but the view would telescope itself into the distant horizon and lo and behold, there she was, sitting atop a white fence, with a basket of flowers, basking in the setting sunlight.
I tried reading The Great Gatsby but the narration of Nick and his splendor in hanging out with Jordan juss made me wonder. His telling of Gatsby's and Daisy's first kiss did nothing but leave me anxious.
I tried to juss jam to music, but all the tracks playing seemed to do nothing but eloquently describe her, killing me softly.
I looked up and the clock read 1:43.
I stood up, looking out my window and into the great heavens. The constellation Orion was resting in the sky, his body pointing in her direction.
I wondered, could she possibly be looking up at the same point in the sky, at this time?
Was she also tossing and turning, finding it hard to fall asleep?
Was she finding herself up because of uncertainty over her feelings?
I felt like when the time came, which would be soon, I would do something.
But its complicated.
I should have been sleeping.
Instead, I was sitting here patiently just for the chance that I might
be able to hold you tight.
In the end, I came to one conclusion:
Sometimes I wish I had never met you.
..but I say a lot of things I don't mean.
=-=-=
Docking out...
-Ryan : metaphors were created juss so he had something to play with
Ryan posted this at 2:25 AM.1/13/04
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
He cried.
He cried for the first time in years.
Docking out...
-Ryan : holding back nothing juss for the look in your eyes
Ryan posted this at 2:42 PM.1/10/04
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Hello there. I'm very busy and important. What can I do for you?
I'm back...and I'm mo' betta aweshome, fa sho!
I really am sorry about all your problems but it really is that simple: it could be worse.
You could be this kid.
And hey, remember what I said about the Siamese twins? Mmhmm.
I juss call 'em like I see 'em.
Come now, don't fight it, invite it.
I don't know if you noticed, but this is the flip side.
I would never get Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher and I'm not juss saying that. The same could be said for Boiling Point.
And the reason? I'm juss cool like that. Trust me.
Giving me your address is juss asking for random postcards.
Careful what you say to people. Unbeknowst to you, they might have taken it under another light (which could be good or bad...its all relative).
Kids, here's an important lesson from your Uncle RyRy: Don't buy drugs.
If I were a member of the Mafia, I'd extort mimes because they'd be the easiest group of people to extort for they wouldn't "talk".
Speaking of mimes, if one had had a heart-attack and died, do you think they would have made any noise?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one else is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
I'm still putting '03 as the year.
Its juss sneeze after sneeze.
My infatuations with the cereal Honey Bunches of Oats and for the musical genre of Jazz had diminished some time ago and I told no one.
I tried to keep away a keeper.
I should have told her everyday, because she was perfect everyday.
Juss to reiterate: (Glasses + beautiful smile + dimples)(Groovin' personality) = not fair.
Wish I knew what you were looking for.
This "not seeing" dealy juss won't do, sorry.
Its better to know me and not need me then it is to need me and not know me.
Me? A genius? That's enough treason for the season.
Oh, you like my clothes? I got them because I was feeling a li'l nude. Nice, yeah?
Chal-lenge!
I'm tired of it. You're not patriotic, you're juss dumb.
I can be the one that stands by your side, be there for you when you cry. I can be the one to hold you hand, listen to all your conflicts and understand. I can be the one to help you transcend, who you talk about to all your friends. I can be.
The Lighthouse Effect.....eh.
Its a self-preservation thing, you see.
Being Prime Minister, I can have him murdered.
I'm Ryan Mose, and if I say I'm going to have a good day, I'm going to have a good day.
The last 5 movies I saw:
-Serendipity
-Battle Royale
-Volcano High
-Love Actually
-Donnie Darko
Ok, you might rag on my friend who asked the question and think, "Why do you care?! What a stupid question!"
Hey now, remember...there aren't any stupid questions but...there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
Juss playing, friend. Juss playing.
Docking out...
-Sexy Ryan Version 2.0 : Admit it, you know you're in love with me *wink**wink*
Ryan posted this at 1:42 AM.1/4/04
Sunday, January 04, 2004
Ok, so I've been in this siutation before and here's the basic metaphorical rundown for you cats....
There's a ship, lost out at sea and the sea is really harsh and confusing right now, yeah? All the ship wants is to get to land, yeah? That's all it needs, refuge. A place to be. It needs an asylum of warmth to encase it from the beating drops of lonely rain.
But wait, what's that in the distance!?
There's a ray of light in the east....but there's also a ray of light in the west.
Both are welcoming. Both are inviting.
To which beacon does the tiny ship float towards for safety? Which lighthouse will pose as the voyage goal?
Now, its all a matter of which beacon shines more attractively. Which light, from a distance, tickles its fancy and gives it security?
The way I look at it, it doesn't matter which way it goes. As long as it makes it to shore and out of the lonely rain, its all good.
But that's selflessness talking.
The real question is will she enjoy and live jubilantly in that resort from thereafter and will she regret not going to the island in the other direction?
And that's me done talking.
In case you didn't get it:
Small ship = girl
Lighthouse A = me
Lighthouse B = other
Docking out...
-Ryan : still in need of a cab
Ryan posted this at 4:58 PM.1/2/04 <--- OHHHH SCHNAPP! HAPPY NEW YEAR, SUCKAAAS!
Friday, January 02, 2004
Where did Ryan go? He took a li'l trip, but he's still cool.
Broken Karaoke. It'll soon be America's favorite past-time. Believe it, suckaaa.
New Year Resolution until I hear a good one from someone else: Giving up on giving up.
KRAZY with a K!
Know what would suck about missing a finger? You couldn't make those cool turkey drawings with your hands for Thanksgiving... and then all the other kids in class would laugh at your turkey that "got into a little accident" and you'd throw glue on all of them but the teacher wouldn't believe you and put you on timeout for the rest of the week and you'd be emotionally scarred for life, all because when you were created, some chromosomes got lost, leaving you with one less finger. Yeah, I think that'd suck.
Why do people say, "in the skies" when there's only one?
I wonder if the number of people who look forward to seeing me everyday, are the same number of people I look forward to seeing myself?
I wonder.... if Dorothy had been color blind, would she have made it home to Kansas?
To improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.
Tell me, how many times will the sight of the same sweater make me smile inside wider than the actual one on my face?
So, I've been thinking about this and...if I have been telling myself that I don't dig her in that light for as long as I have, that there must be a reason. In a way, in trying not to like her, I think I've developed stronger feelings for her as opposed to feelings I might have had had I embraced short-sighted lustful antics. I know so much about her without knowing her and I don't know whether that's good or bad. So many oxymorons and contradictions are included in this paradox, and for once, I really don't know where this tunnel is leading. I juss don't know what to do with myself, so I write. I write things like the story in the previous entry. I write poems, I draw pictures, I think.
Adore... I don't use that word or any of its conjugations very often.
I tried to keep away a keeper.
But its ok. I had SubWay for lunch.
Docking out...
-Ryan : strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
Ryan posted this at 4:05 PM.
