Saturday, May 22, 2004

 

5.21.04

I'm not more than you need, juss more than you're used to.

And no, I'm not number 1.

I'm number 1, 2, 3, 4 AND 5!

You ever noticed you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

So for the last couple days I've been trying to make dolphin noises, and for the first time I'm realizing how difficult this actually is.

It really has been a long while since I've seen Battle Royale and Volcano High.

I have good smelling soap.

We're sharing the drink they call loneliness, but its better than drinking alone.

Ryan, what is wrong with you?

We put so much emphasis on physical beauty that we're afraid to be affected by one of these girl's inner beauty.

Men have this anti-intimacy shield around them that is powered by sarcasm, humor and aversion.

Its a self-preservation thing, you see.

Franklin's retiring and I hate to see him go.

So, I'm on the ballot. Vote for me, I guess. A lot of nominees will say how they're just excited to be in the company of so many other great people.

That's a lie.

Nobody feels that way. I'm funnier than they are and I hear that many of them have said some very unkind things about your mother.

Seriously.

I was doing some things. After a while I decided to stop doing them and take a short break. At the end of the break I started doing the things again.

I haven't been witty lately.

I've been stupid.

But not witty.

If you want witty, look in the archives. The last 2 months haven't really been overly hilarious.

One of these days I'm going to find all my stories and link them so that you cats won't have to continue searching for them.

Random Adventures:
1)At In-N-Out, I exit the bathroom to find that my order has already been called. I go up to the counter and notice there's about fifty-leven other orders already waiting to be picked up. It juss so happens that on that day the lovely girl was working. I asked her which order was mine in which she in turn questioned, "what's your number?"
I juss looked at her with a smile and wink, then pointed and said, "but I've only juss met you!"
2)Our field-trip to the L.A. County Museum of Art experienced a slight detour as the L.A. Country Museum of Art is closed on Wednesdays. Way to plan. We instead went to the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena where another rival school's "homies" tried to "dog" us in their preppy clothing while the girls all swooned and giggled while giving us violating, lustrous glances and stares.

Thank you for reading, suckaaa.

"I'm going to take my dreams and put them in a jar atop my 'fridge. That way, one day, when I have the munchies and I'm looking all over the place for some grub, I'll find it and it'll remind me of what I originally hungered for. When you're that deprived, you think of things on a broader level. That'll cure your damn apathy."

Docking out...
-Ryan : [insert witty notion here]

Ryan posted this at 1:28 AM.