Wednesday, July 28, 2004

 

7.27.04

I'll juss be like, "How's life?"

And some cats'll say, "Well, have you read my xanga?"

And I"ll be all like, "No."

Docking out...
-Ryan : enjoys good conversation

 

Ryan posted this at 10:59 AM.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

 

7.27.04

Can we pull it off?

Docking out...
-Ryan : the one you love to love

Ryan posted this at 1:53 PM.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

 

7.23.04

Did I say I was feeling like crapola?

Well, she makes everything better.

Just like that.

Docking out...
-Ryan : one day isn't enough

Ryan posted this at 9:34 AM.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

 

7.20.04

Everyone's been feeling like crapola lately for unknown reasons.

And I'm no exception.

Docking out...
-Ryan : thinks its the warm weather

Ryan posted this at 11:47 PM.

 

7.19.04
 
Tell girls to stop hitting on me. Thanks.
 
I'm losing my touch.
 
I lounge out with the intellectual and the puerile. The verdict? Give me witty banter over aspirations of "getting laid" any day.
 
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
 
Okay... what did they do to my beloved Jack-In-The-Box fries?!
 
The only thing that ends a good moment is realizing that the delight and jubilation cease at some point.
 
Don't reach that realization.
 
So much experience and yet, its not enough.  

Sometimes I think I would have developed better if Elbert had not been so ambitious.
Its one thing to be confident. Its another thing to be infallible.
 
Don't juss show me the money. Give it to me.
 
If I get a dog, it'll be a corgi, for sure. Count on it.
 
That cat sported more gold than C3P0.
 
I juss made a Star Wars reference. Should I put up my shield now?

Those two remind me of the Simpson sisters. One's a spoiled brat and the other's a simple-minded dunce.
 
The most beautiful ones are nicest to me. It's the cute ones that are so vicious. They're the ones that feel like they have something to prove. What is there to worry about when you are beautiful? It’s easier to be beautiful to someone when you're beautiful.
 
Be beautiful.

I need to be put on that MTV show, "Wanna Come In?". Only then can I prove what I've been preaching to all these romantics with no ounce of confidence.

Pimpbilities, steez, mack: I've let them all go and it actually works better. Learn.
 
Its something of mine that I can put into yours.
 
The word was, "thought".
 
The kid wanted his two front teeth back for Christmas? Well, do I have news for him. You see, what happened was, the neighborhood bully made $2 off of him with aid from the magical Tooth-Fairy.
 
And you know what the Tooth-Fairy does with teeth, right?
 
She slangs them to the enamel-fiends, the plaque community. You see, that's how she makes her profit.
 
She's a tricky one, that Tooth-Fairy.
 
I'm wary about some cats that don't drink. I'm not talking about the ones that decided not to drink by choice, that's groovy, but the inhibited. How can I trust them if they can't trust themselves? They're the ones that you have to watch out for. You need to bring more than a shovel to dig up the depths of their past.

Perhaps the acrid, putrid scent of decay is the essence of that person's soul. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet and one dilapidated, decomposed substance is enough to total such fetor. And if it isn't a physical act that haunts but rather some mental barrier that continues to linger and prod, then the result is a brain-fart whose horrid scent is encapsulated within.
 
There will eventually be a time when they will have cures for all of our current, most deadly diseases and I can't help but think they'll look back one day with pity at me, I being one of the martyrs for the human race.
 
One thing I've discovered is that if you keep your mouth shut, people are apt to believe you know everything, and they begin to feel compelled to tell you anything, anxious to show that they know something, too.
 
I'm going to have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I'll lock any three in a random order and memorize it. My logic? Well, no matter how long somebody stands there picking locks, they'll always be locking three of the six.
 
Remember, its not what they call you but what you answer to.
 
In the darkest of times, its easier to see stars.
 
Please, don't do that thing. The thing where you attract my gaze with your own and I know exactly what you're thinking. The thing where your cheek, neck or chin attracts the loving attention of my hand. The thing where I suddenly ache at the recycled realization of how inviting your lips are, wanting to be enshrouded and vestured within those emollient, wet draperies of pink. 
 
Please?

Docking out...
-Ryan : lost it or juss recently found it?

Ryan posted this at 3:20 AM.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

 

7.16.04
 
Dear Future,
 
Bring it.
 
With love,
Ryan
 
Docking out...
-Ryan : enlightened

Ryan posted this at 10:54 PM.

Friday, July 16, 2004

 

7.15.04
 
"And you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone,
Or anyone at all, or anyone at all.
And the grave that you refuse to leave,
The refuge that you've built to flee,
The places that you've come to fear the most,
Is the place that you have come to fear the most."
 
Ironic how in trying to distance myself, making a ballast of autonomy and ceasing from letting them get even an inkling of my various intricacies, I've attracted the friendships and admiration of many.
 
Its as if I juss cannot accept it. I go out of my way to find a flaw for them to expose and if there isn't one there, I'll create one as a test and yet they still stick around.
 
I'm content with what I have but I juss cannot comprehend what makes me so endearing. I understand my faults and my various beneficial traits but something deters me from seeing my own self worth. You could try to shower me with compliments, lies or the truth, but it will all amount to nothing.
 
Someone once told me, "When we are given gifts, we are obliged to make the world a better place. No matter how reluctant you are, you have no choice but to shine." I can easily see the merit, value and potential in everyone else.
 
Why can't I see my own worth?
 
I'm luminous when I don't want to be.
 
I'm the firefly that wants to be a maggot.
 
I think in my various missions helping people find the best of themselves I've been secretly trying to find my own identity.
 
Perhaps its that I'm scared, afraid that I really am not worth it. I'm scared of pain, failure and wasting myself. I've almost always gotten my way and I'm not yet used to being told otherwise.

So instead of leaving potential flaws up for discovery or entering scenarios in which I'm the victim, I create them so that I can control them. I have so much control over myself and my surroundings that I scare myself.
 
Looking back, I've almost always put myself in positions and situations that protectively swayed in my favor. I've realized that I've always docked out before things were even given the chance to fling themselves in a bad direction. I set such low standards so that I don't end up dissapointing myself.
 
Its healthy to be happy with everything.
 
Its unhealthy to be happy with everything but yourself.
 
Many people have attempted to break me in the past but failed, even if I had wanted them to.
 
I can't even break myself because I've been avoiding all my life all that was fragile or could induce frailty.
 
Got angst?
 
Docking out...
-Ryan : not bad, not bad at all

Ryan posted this at 12:55 AM.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

 

7.15.04

Enough about me. How's life?

Docking out...
-Ryan : with an R, not a W

Ryan posted this at 12:21 AM.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

 

7.14.04

Meiyo. Spread the word.

I want a top-knot. Thanks.

Hey, you. Remember when you had a crush on me?

You know, watching the sunrise never gets old.

Never.

My sleeping pattern is beyond discombombulated.

I've been doing a lot of a little.

Ants = Me? It makes sense if you think about it.

A lot.

Ravi, I acknowledge it, for sure, but that doesn't mean that I like it.

I'd like to think, that with me, it only gets better.

I also like to think the best of me is hiding somewhere up my sleeve.

There was time when I juss didn't care.

That time shouldn't be now.

My mom TRAPPED a bird in the garage earlier and she didn't want to let it get away. She hoped to tame the feral beast and domesticate it to her likings. When she wasn't looking, I freed the suckaaa.

I am such a rebel.

Speaking of mothers and fathers... congrats Boogie.

Holy damn. I'm doing it again. I hate it.

I really do.

Why does this always happen? This is by far one of the best, but its happening again.

She's worth it. I know she is.

I am one complicated kid.

Hmmsha... would you rather get vomit in a bag for Christmas or nothing at all?

Didn't think so.

I've decided that Gummi bears are the most awesome-o candy edibles out there. They're so badass that they got a Disney cartoon about them.

Although, they weren't very gummi. They were very animated and vestured. Drinking made them bouncy.

Sound familiar?

Didn't think so.

A recreant, I am not.

These cats think they know everything. You know nothing and I'll say it to your face.

It goes like this: liking, endearment, admiring, infatuation, digging, smite, desideration, adoration, loving. If you're at that stage of adoration, I'd take a bullet for you.

AP exams?

I passed them all. Thanks.

I'm so awesome-o, I should be illegal.

Illegal in more than 49 states, that is.

I've said it before and I'm saying it again: Its not about what happened or what's going to happen (to a degree) but rather, what's happening right now. What's the point of living if you're of no benefit to anyone or at the very least, a benefit to yourself?

Live it OoOoWeE, suckaaa. Otherwise, I'll have someone punch me in the face.

And you wouldn't want that, now would you?

Docking out...
-Ryan : doesn't get it

Ryan posted this at 4:34 AM.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

 

7.13.04

Its 2:45 in the afternoon and I have a pencil dislodged in my head.

Don't ask.

Don't even call for help.

Juss point and stare like everyone else.

Docking out...
-Ryan : goes together with pencils like staples and watermelon

Ryan posted this at 2:46 PM.

 

7.12.04

You know those moments when you can look at somebody, nod and then say to yourself "exactly" because you're both on the same wavelength, thinking the same thing?

Groovy.

Docking out...
-Ryan : an old favorite

Ryan posted this at 1:43 AM.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

 

"I catalog these steps now
Decisive and intentioned
Precise a pattern specifically to yours
I'm talented at breathing
Especially exhaling
So that my chest will rise and fall with yours

I'm careful not to wake you
Fearing conversation
It's better just to hold you
And keep you pacified
I'm talented with reason
I cover all the angles
I can fail before I ever try

Try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away so
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend, I will not break)
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend, I will not break)

I am fairly agile
I can bend and not break
Or I can break and take it with a smile
And I am so resilient
I recover quickly
I'll convince you soon that I am fine

Try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away so
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend, I will not break)
Wont you hold me now

Just hold me close to you, just hold me close to you
Just hold me close to you, just hold me close to you, to you

And try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
So wont you hold me now?
Wont you hold me now?
Now, now, now, now, now "

Ryan posted this at 3:30 PM.

Friday, July 09, 2004

 

7.9.04

Guess who needs a haircut?

Yeah, that'd be me.

Like, hella.

You might have already known this, but I know certain events that'll happen in the future.

No, not juss predicting the future. Anyone can do that given enough information.

But actually know the future.

Although, I have no control over it.

I get epiphanies and mad deja vu.

Mad deja vu.

Went to my Ninong's retirement ceremony and met some beautiful people that I am not related to.

Good chicken.

Sorry Wu Child, they were not KFC BBQ Chicken wings.

I owned Phan in Monopoly the other day and he owned me in it yesterday.

What's going to happen next?

No, I did not have a clairvoyant premonition of that outcome.

Smartass.

My doctor likes to play a little game called "You Have Cancer!"

Supposedley, I am the most proportionable male in terms of book-smart and street-smart.

I dream about her.

Then I sit in bed, an hour before I sleep and an hour after I wake thinking about her.

Like, hella.

I look good in a suit and tie.

But I don't want to get used to it.

Beware all corporations that require a change of wardrobe.

Remember kids: its not about what happened or what's going to happen but rather, what's happening right now.

Its about honesty and confidence. Charm and wit are secondary tools.

Make you sure you do things based on certainty and best interest, not insecurity and ideals.

Control yourself and you can control that which is around you.

Flow like water.

Speaking of water...

It rained for about 2 seconds today.

I miss her.

Docking out...
-Ryan: learned

Ryan posted this at 7:13 PM.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

 

7.7.04.

It felt weird today when Phan asked me what I was doing today and she wasn't included in any of my plans.

It took that long for it to hit me.

She's in Japan.

And she won't be back until the 20th.

Its not that long you say?

Its all relative.

Strange, I used to be able to hold out for weeks on end, even a month.

But this one's different.

Francine xangas as much as I don't blog.

Emily, don't come in here acting all gangstb when you know I'm a better MC than you.

Hands down. It was pre-determined. Its already been decided. Its fate, destiny.

Judges say... yes.

Cheesecake ice cream with cherries from ColdStone = Mmm, mmm!

Can you say, "scrumptiliumptious!?"

A "I Love It" cheesecake ice cream with cherries from ColdStone says you can't.

Now don't make bets you can't own up to.

Speaking of bets, I owned at Hold 'Em.

Again.

And speaking of poker, the new season of World Tour started but they're playing 7-Card Stud instead.

$5 says... no, one "I Love It" cheesecake ice cream with cherries from ColdStone says that everyone will start playing that juss like everyone started playing Hold 'Em.

And speaking of $5, I also owned in Monopoly today.

And not juss any Monopoly, my friend.

Disney Monopoly, suckaaa.

Don't underestimate Pinnochio.

He'll coldcock ya'.

On a lighter note, I met Li'l Rob's cousin.

No, she is not a chola (or however you spell it).

And I met Miss Teen Vista.

She has her own day.

Her own day!

Actually, I've known her for a while.

A long while.

As in... circa 3rd grade.

Mmmhmm.

Not a bad poker player.

Not at all.

But I still whomped on her, don't you worry.

But then again, she read all of my text messages.

All of them.

And then it made me think about you some more.

Why didn't Pat take me with him?!

WHY?!

...

What's been popping?

Not much, juss being me.

And you couldn't ask for more, now could you?

Unless you're the Wu Child, who craves KFC BBQ Chicken Wings.

But I don't have KFC BBQ Chicken Wings.

You'll juss have to deal with it.

Speaking of the Wu Child, he received a random belated-birfday present.

Who gave it to him?

Was it you?

Oh, I'll find out.

I always find out.

I am champion, I tell ya'.

Champion.

Docking out...
-Ryan : nomadic sage (or as Ravi likes to say: Tourist Teacher)
--> if you remember what these cats were called in Greece, you get a cookie

Ryan posted this at 4:06 AM.

Monday, July 05, 2004

 

7.4.04

I wouldn't say that we're what you call normal.

But I wouldn't want it any other way.

Docking out...
-Ryan : eremophobia victim for the next two weeks

Ryan posted this at 12:56 PM.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

 

7.1.04

If you could juss leave me random phrases or lyrics either in the chatterbox or on the comments, that'd be great.

I feel like doing some works based off of random lines to relieve my boredom.

Much appreciated.

Writings = linked.

Hopefully that particulary archive will compensate for my lack of updating.

Enjoy.

Sometimes when you lose, you win.

Docking out...
-Ryan : champion

Ryan posted this at 2:35 PM.