Tuesday, April 25, 2006

 

04.25.06

I have the greatest girlfriend ever.

For serious.

Best surprise ever.

And I've had my share of surprises.

Like that one time when I couldn't tell if my parents were joking or not when they said I was an accident.

Whooo, boy.

Good times, good times.

Some of you have midterms this week, so you probably have all these questions in your head at the moment.

But let me ask you something...

For to when tease hicks?

That's the most important question and only question you should be thinking about at the moment.

Say it out loud.

Go ahead.

It's okay.

No one's watching.

Just go for it.

...

Now, repeat that every five minutes until you fully grasp its awesomeness in its entirety.

And make sure you ruminate over it for a good amount of time because I'll be quizzing you tommorow!

Now, I know what you're thinking...

You think I'm sexy.

And you're right.

But that's beside the point.

Point is, you have a dilemma on your hands.

That dilemma goes along the lines of, "Hey, what am I going to be doing this saturday evening?"

The answer?

It starts with a "P" and ends in "CN".

At least, the second half.

The first half's cool.

But the second half is even better.

Especially when we have five white people singing about how cool it is to be pilipino.

HEY!

I'm an uncle!

I was an uncle beforehand--

but now I'm twice the uncle I was before!

That's right, on April 21, Kaylin Elise Mose was born.

Isn't the month of April just so groovy?

It is.

Believe it.

Dig in, my friends.

Dig in.

Es-Ee-Ex-Ex-I-EEEEE!

Keep peeled eyes.

And eat gummi bears.

Did you know that you can OD on Flintstones vitamins?

Seems like nothing's safe anymore.

Speaking of vitamins...

Quick theory for those that drink.

When you drink, you intake alcohol, which is "oxidized" into ethanol and then filtered.

Well, this whole "oxidizing" business is the one thing that's getting in your way of inebriation and bringing soberness and that special hangover closer to fruition.

So what to do?

Find other chemical agents that will oxidize first.

Things like vitamin C.

Chase with some OJ, and perhaps you'll stay drunker longer and create many moments to regrettably recall in the near future.

Good times.

Straight A's this quarter?

Not if chemistry can help it.

Our chemistry professor thinks we're all intellectually inept.

Makes one feel like they could take on the world.

Yadda-mean?

No, I don't.

I haven't an inkling of your intended meaning when you say something like that.

In fact, I'll say that to you.

And then end with," Yao Ming?"

Because, honestly, as stupid as that is, it just phonetically and euphoniously sounds better.

It's more emollient.

Look those up.

I put the "harm" in charm.

Docking out...
-Ryan : gummi bears! MMM!

Ryan posted this at 12:44 AM.