Sunday, April 01, 2007

 

03.31.07

I could only guess what he's going through.

1 out of 10, really.

He's a strong kid.

He reminded me of myself, but you can never be too sure what path of closure one is taking.

It brought up a lot of memories and emotions that I usually don't like to tap into.

...Never a fun time at all.

It's gonna take a while.

No one will admit it once they're in such a situation, but it never really leaves you.

In all truth, it scars you.

You could only offer your shoulder and your condolences because if the tables were turned, that's probably all they could offer you.

It's a true test of your will, perception and autonomy.

It'll either make you stronger or jade you just a little.

I can only hope people's heart were in it and that they were not there out of sympathetic obligation.

It's good to see old faces, but not under these circumstances.

It makes you think.

Why is this the case?

Are we really at that point of our lives where we're too busy..?

Too busy for... eachother?

It's amazing how quickly your emotions can transition all in the span of 20 minutes.

One moment you're strong, stalwart and rigid.

Suddenly, you find your lip quivering and a tear is streaming down your face.

Next thing you know, your heart stops...

But it's not because of mourning.

For a split second, you look to your left and you catch a glimpse.

Even in these circumstances, you find yourself drawn to her aura.

Even in these circumstances, she's still taking your breath away.

Even in these circumstances, you're a fool.

And within the next pumping of blood in your chest, you collect your thoughts and you reflect.

You have your last moments of mourning and grief-- at least for now.

Closure has once again occured and you find yourself at peace.

You talk to her.

For whatever foolish reasons, it lifts you up.

It's just small talk, but it's doing wonders.

You know nothing will happen.

But this moment fancies you and regardless, you enjoy it.

She hasn't a clue, but right now, it all means the world to you.

And that's how powerful the mind is...

even in denial, the human condition compels us to continue on.

You've been emotionally backed into a corner...

Whatever it takes to get you back into the fray, whatever keeps you occupied, your mind will pursue for its own sanity sake.

=-=-=

And yet, he danced around the party, telling himself that he shouldn't join it.

He's not sure of anything in his life right now-- the last thing he needs is to be unsure about her as well.

Alpha male versus alpha female. It should work out right?

Group dynamics, in this context, would dictate the opposite.

It's always the same thing with this one-- back and forth, back and forth. He doesn't want something to happen, then he does-- but he knows that it shouldn't happen because he feels that nothing will come out of it.

This one's too perfect-- which is, quite naturally, what draws him to her. He doesn't want to complicate things.

He knew he shouldn't have gone, but he did.

He found himself in an awkward state-- never is he so quiet or short of wit.

He's not doing a good job of protecting himself.

=-=-=

On another note-- people need to watch what they say.

Never, under any circumstances, even in jest, should one attempt to command.

It's rude, dismissive and downright disrespectful.

Dishonor on you and your whole family.

Insecurities are easily perceived.

Don't take it out on others.

Deal with it.

Docking out...
-Ryan : I just don't want to miss you right now

Ryan posted this at 4:04 AM.