Wednesday, May 30, 2007

 

05.30.07

I will kill you with kindness.

Seriously.

People always ask, "is spontaneous combustion possible?"

Oh, yeah.

I've seen people spontaneously explode from happiness before.

But after that, I don't know.

I just think that some people are allergic to extreme joy.

I mean, I'll do whatever I can to make you smile, cheer you up or make your day.

But after you explode...

there's not much else I could.

I'm just saying.

Docking out...
-Ryan : no, really

Ryan posted this at 9:12 AM.

Friday, May 25, 2007

 

05.25.07

Find me some crayons, then STEP OFF, yo.

I'm saving the world.

I realize more and more that I love creating inside jokes with people.

To have something shared between me and another individual.

It makes things fun and creates a stronger bond.

I can't really look forward to the weekend like most kids, 'cause I find that I treat every day like it's the weekend.

I now want a pirate wedding. Not pirate-style, but a pirate wedding.

We've created a monster.

Not gonna lie.

It was just a joke, but somehow this "group" has turned into a character all its own.

How did that happen?

We certainly know how to run with it.

I still find myself in that position...

I don't remind people that I'm Ryan Mose.

They remind me that I'm Ryan Mose.

So, my personality-type deems that I'm a "stroker".

That is, I like to stroke and be stroked.

Go figure.

These past two weeks have been nothing but a blur.

I sometimes forget what day it is.

And it doesn't help that I'm sick.

But it's all good.

The year's ending soon, but I have a lot to look forward to.

I am already anticipating the next school year...

especially with Urban.

No more holding back on these kids.

I've already been working stuff out in my head.

I hear a song and I'm seeing choreo, formations and transition changes.

It's going to be straight fire.

And no more holding back academically.

I'd say no more being lazy, but we all know how that's going to end.

But I'm really going to try.

I still don't know what I want to be doing in the next few years and, in a longer scope, what I want to be doing with my life.

Every week, it's a new notion and idea.

Performer? Instructor? Artist? Counselor? Teacher? Physician? Pharmacist? Life coach? Writer? Beachside prophet? Professional professional?

I'll stick with being the King Goober, for now.

So, I was going to name my son Aha.

But I've changed my mind.

I'm going to name him Yo, instead.

Just so I can say things like, "Hey, Yo-- get over here."

And my other son, I'll dub him Son.

So that when I call them both, I can simply shout, "YO, SON!"

And then I'll name my daughter Skylynn.

'Cause it's pretty.

Pretty like YOUR FACE.

Yeah, I'm talking about you.

Haven't seen you in a while.

I forgot what real beauty looks like.

I really hope you don't read this.

Which brings me up to the next point:

Who DOES read this?

It's an odd contradiction for those that claim that their blogs are their online journals.

In essence, a journal is to be a private thing that one jitters down thoughts and doodles.

But nay, not in the cyber age.

It's now an outlet.

So, can I really call this thing a journal?

Nay, dear reader.

While it may have been entitled so in the past, it no longer is.

I realize more and more that this is a blog.

An outlet for information and perhaps creativity.

I haven't been home all quarter.

I think I'll go in the middle of this next week.

Yeah.

The middle of next week.

I gotta pick up me suit and shiny shoes.

And a lone paycheck.

Money in the bank?

Oh, you know it.

So, I've been listening to a lot of old slow jams lately.

Reasons may or may not be very apparent.

I guess it depends on who you ask.

You know what I like about AIM right now?

Depending on who you talk to, when you spit up a smiley, that smiley EXPLODES IN THE BACKGROUND.

Explodes.

I don't think you understand.

Docking out...
-Ryan : procrastinating in all mediums

Ryan posted this at 3:15 AM.

Monday, May 21, 2007

 

05.21.07

=-=-=-=

She mirrored a good amount of his own qualities and he could not stand it.

Something about her aura subtly commanded him, even from a far distance, and he hated the fact that when he was around her his thought process was reverted close to a non-mobile state, reminiscent of a slug or an amoeba.

He despised that stupid little chime his phone made every time a text message was received and the little smirk he sported every time it was from her.

The thought of going to bed and having dreams of jubilee that centered around joyous outings with the girl in question was a dreaded one.

It annoyed him how he'd go out with enough mental defense to make the Spartan army jealous, only to find that his armor quickly and easily collapsed with one striking glance from her direction.

He held in contempt the fact that he almost died everyday on his bike because thoughts of the girl drew his attention from such hazards as other bicyclists and cars.

It bothered him how lately he was so short of wit and, even moreso, how he was always thinking of things to say to her.

Pernicious was her ability to always make him smile in the most subtle of ways and, more often than not, without the use of words.

He rejected all prose and all artistic ventures instigated by her with disdain because they could never amount up to anything worthy of her name.

But most of all, he loathed the fact that the closer he got, the more he wanted to back out--

that something within him was holding him back, preventing what could be.

While he was laying the bricks toward her kingdom, he was never really taking the path.

He fooled himself, not knowing that all this time he was actually rebuilding his own silent fortress.

Yet, she permeated his front of confidence and maneuvered her way into the inner mechanisms, though she triggered his invisible, unconscious alarms.

But it was this very point that he began to highlight and replay in his head-- the contradiction inherent in the situation at hand.

He realized that no one was able to bring that warmth in a long time.

In a long time.

He needed new kicks, infused with stamina, that could handle a lot of wear and tear.

This could potentially be the longest walk he's ever taken.

=-=-=-=

Docking out...
-Ryan : enigmatic and aversive

Ryan posted this at 2:56 AM.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

 

05.16.07

A different kind of muse.

There's a distinct pleasure in not letting it be common knowledge.

To know that I'm the only one who knows, it's a luxury of unknown measure.

It's my own little thing, my personal source of immense joy.

It's my little secret.

Nothing even has to be said, but my day is made.

And I can't stop smiling or thinking about it.

The situation is in itself a paradox, but a familiar one.

Shorter of wit, slother of thought, instigator of double-takes and the old, "Did I really just say that?"

Funny, how when it finally comes 'round, I lose my confidence and optimism within the depths of myself.

Split like fission.

Self-assurance, where did you run off to, homie?

At least I found my nyquil.

Docking out...
-Ryan : pretty brown eyes

Ryan posted this at 2:23 PM.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

 

05.09.07

A new muse..?

I think so.

Well, then...

it's certainly been a while.

PCN took over my life, but in the end, I must say-- it was beyond worth it.

No, it didn't stress me out at all-- it was nothing but a fun and enjoyable experience.

Tire me out? Okay, you could peg that one on me, but it's all good.

These crazy cast of characters are all so multi-talented and so much fun to be around-- it was just like one big famjam.

For what it's worth, it felt like high school again, seeing the same kids every day (that's no hyperbole) and just messing around, having fun, doing what I felt was fun and entertaining.

I've said it before-- a happy team equals a willing team and a happy PCN cast we were.

I didn't think I would, but alas, I too am suffering from the withdrawals. There's no doubt that we all bonded and it will deeply sadden my heart if we lose those ties over the course of the quarter, summer and the rest of the time period between now and the next PCN.

Acting, singing and dancing, both modern and traditional. Did I really just do that?

Almost-- I severely rolled my ankle 3 days prior to the show, but I recovered enough to do well enough what I could. Sadly, tinikling had to be etched off that list.

I couldn't help but feel guilty. People were concerned over the amount of time that I put into tinikling to not perform-- believe me, that wasn't the issue to be worrying about. They, in the course of one practice, had to modify so much to account for the deficit I had created.

But they made it work-- they're an amazing bunch of coconuts and had you not been in the cast, would have never known that changes had been made. They're crazy.

The show this year was honestly a good one, ignoring the face that I was more involved this year.

I actually made the effort to watch the show when I could, and I didn't experience a single dull moment at all. It was non-stop laughs, with only a subtle notion of messages.

I cannot wait to watch the whole thing in full force.

But the utmost pride I harbor are for my badass Urbanites. They logged in so many hours and sacrificed so much.

And they looked good.

The two sets were freakin' blazin'. Especially the Aswang set. That HAD to have caught everyone off guard.

There are no words to fully encapsulate the love I have for my team. I would do anything for them and vice versa.

My birthday passed over the course of the hectic practice schedule we had, and they still managed to surprise me in a big way and just simply made me appreciate them more and more.

I'm excited for next year.

In all honesty, this was kind of a test-year. Now I know what I'm capable of at this level and what I can and want to do.

I won't hold back on this one.

Not this time.

They deserve my all, as they've been giving me theirs.

Some crazy things are always happening in my life that are indirectly affecting me from back home-- these kids, both on Urban and in PCN/KP, got me through it.

Much love, mofos.

Much love.

Docking out...
-Ryan : I'm just saying

Ryan posted this at 1:43 AM.