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The OoOoWeE Insight And the world makes sense once again. 
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Monday, December 30, 200212/30/03
Ideas for a new s/n:
This Is RyRy
Cream Soda RyRy
Smooth Mr RyRy
please, please, please add to this list!
My friends aren't very helpful, haha. Er...the ones that provided the above ideas.
I'm out.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 2:17 AM.12/25/02
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!
Am I happy? Yes.
Did I get what I wanted for Christmas? Hmm....no.....then again, I didn't want anything except to give stuff out. Haha
I'm out.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 4:58 PM.12/13/02
Friday, December 13, 2002
She was more than a women a goddess for all to see
All I ever needed was her right here loving me
For a while we were coolin and groovin and love was on
But I still remember how it felt when our love was gone
So, here were are, 3 in the morning at my friend's house and we're just chatting, throwing questions at eachother.
Michael asks, "What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?"
My answer? "Saying that wrong thing."
Wha-what? What wrong thing Ryan!?
Well, I told the story of a particular broad I know....or should I say knew?
That verse up there....describes her and the situation that ensued.
Yup.
Speaking of english speech finals....bleh...I did alright. I wasn't even prepared, but I did well enough. I didn't even believe I did that well. It lasted all but a minute and a half I believe. To my surprise, I got a freakin' 97. A 97. I'm so pissed off at myself because others who got the same score worked harder than I did. Well, I wouldn't say pissed off, but I feel bad.
And for the rest of finals...bleh. Everyone seems in order except Wlrd. Hist. Yup, that Franklin sure is crazy. Its not the material that we've been given on the w/s that's hard. It's the fact that Franklin sure is crazy. He'll takes those ideas, and completely over-complicate them. No, he'll make them beyond complicated. The final will be so crazy that it'd seem like it was created under a Faustian Deal (oh yeah!).
I hope I don't kill the 4.0 I've been pulling through the semester.
Advice to everyone: try. And I mean it. It might seem all good but it might bean you in the behind at the end. Yup.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 10:25 PM.10/11/02
Friday, October 11, 2002
Well dayum....long time since i've been here, yeah?
Well, how's life?
It's all good. I still don't get myself, but yeah.
I'm getting by. School is beyond easy. Some of my friends hate the fact that I just doodle all period and still retain my A's.
I always question my ability in knowing western civilization every time Franklin's test come around, but they end up being beyond easy. Why is it that Mr. Franklin is the only teacher in years that actually has me thinking I won't do good on this tests? Oh well, I'm pulling with an A.
Alg. II is alright, I guess. I know a lot of cats in the class, I just don't sit by any of them. I doodle the whole time or do the homework in class while Mr. Bushman is going over how to do it. I sit by Ferrin (sp?) and Drei, but that's it. Manuel sits in the way back, along with Julia, Sarah and Wendy. Linda joined our ranks last week (I think). She's koo. I don't really know her that well, but I'd like to.
English...well. I'm get all the material and everything, but I just don't do the homework very often. I'm never really done my english homework consecutively. My table is the shit. I have 5 other tiight cats sitting next to me: Tammy, Rayan, Nick, Cory and Jordan. And then there's all the other peeps in class. I know most of them. I feel as though I could be moved to any table in that class and feel socially comfortable, so iz all good.
Weight training? I'm working it. Believe that.
Chemistry? It's not as boring in Mr. Baker's class as most people think. Then again, I don't think any class is boring as long as I have a person to joke around with and I have a piece of paper to doodle on. I found myself one of the 'smartest' kids in the class or whatever. I really don't feel like it. People compliment me too much. I'm tired of it because none of it is true. At least, in my eyes I'm not as good as people tell me I am. Maybe I'm just beyond modest of something.
Anyways, I'm good, I'm good. I still hate myself, but its all good. I don't really hate myself, I just don't think I fill up to the compliments people give me. I really don't.
Oh well. It's juss stiffizzy. Anyways, I'm out.
Wizzy, wizzy..wizzy..wizzy, wizzy wooow.
Late late.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 9:32 PM.9/16/02
Monday, September 16, 2002
You know...I really don't get myself.
I've been told I can sing and dance, and I do it all the time at the house or when I'm bored but I can never do it public.
Well, I can, just not as well or as extravagantly or skillfully as I could when I'm juss chillin.
I think it's because I'm too worried about people looking at me?
I've never been one to take the spotlight, yet, whenever I'm in most of my classes, I'm usually the one being all 'perky' and jestful.
Then, before school, break and lunch I'm as quiet as ever. It's not that I don't have anything to say...believe me, I do. I have a lot of things to say...I just don't think out loud at these moments. And then there's all the idiots at our school. You don't realize how many times a day I just want to say, "Yeah, and you're beyond retarded." but I'm too nice to say so. I'd like to add more to the conversations then just a nod or a suggestion. But it's all good because my friends have spent enough time with me to have become accustomed to my actions and it's now like I talk with my body....or something.
And like I said earlier, about the classrooms, I wild out. Well, not exactly wild out, but I become more sharp and witty. I actually enjoy being up in front of the class and talking and making them all laugh. Some of you might be thinking, "Ok...Ryan making a whole room laugh? That's just....beyond crazy." Well, it's just you guys haven't seen me at my social best. Because like I've said many times before, I don't really focus on learning in class...I"d much rather talk to the person next to me.
I'm guessing the reason I can do this in the classroom is because I'm more comfortable?
And also, not only are my male social skills all out of tune, but my female skills as well.
Take my cousin's 2nd birthday party of her life this weekend.
I was able to talk, converse and make my aunt's hot neighbors laugh for the first hour before my brother's came (I have this thing about hiding my love life, even my social life, from everyone I know) but when she introduces me to the daughter of a friend of her's, I didn't do that much talking.
Actually, now looking at all this I do get myself.
Wow...I've just realized through all this non-sense that I'm not fully comfortable with my friends. I'm maybe about 60% comfortable while chilling with my friends and in classes I hardly know anyone in (the classes where I'm really quiet) but I'm 100% comfortable and happy enough to make an ass out of myself in a room where I know either: 0% or 50% of the people I know.
Maybe I like being indoors better?
I dont' know.
Now that I rethink this, I still don't get myself.
Hmm...
Here's my conclusion:
Depending on my mood I can either be the intelligent, rational, calm, laid-back, silent, always watching and thinking Ryan (i.e. chilling with my friends) or the extravagant, sharp, witty, funny, charming, intelligent Ryan (i.e. in a room in which I know no one/half the people, when I'm feeling beyond comfortable). Though, in both stages I've been told I'm nice, caring and selfless.
If this made any sense to you, you deserve a medal because it didn't even make total sense to myself.
But that just might be because I'm questioning my social standpoint in life. Or something. I think i used the right word.
Anyways, I'm confused and I'm out.
You know, I never think this much when I'm not sick. And all I have right now are the sniffles. Imagine living a day in my mind when i'm sick. I don't think you could start to comprehend it...or something.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 7:09 PM.9/07/02
Saturday, September 07, 2002
Did I ever mention that the dance team could be much better? Or that it's way too big? Haha, I might have.
When they had the Co-ed dance team during yesterday's pep rally there was about 40 people. They shouldn't even have choreographed anything with a group that big.
They should've just had a dance club scene type thing with everyone doing their own thing. That would've been way better than the crap they performed.
They're routines are dull. The best thing the boys dance team did was those back-flips. And only 1 or 2 of the cats could actually Shake.
And did anyone see that one guy in the back by Kartiq? That guy was beyond lost.
But, anyways, they're not that bad but they could be better.
Some of you peeps might be saying, "Bro, then why don't you just join the dance team?" I was thinking about it, but I decided "No."
Yup, that's what happened.
Anyways, it looks like it's going to be the same type of football season for San Marcos as it's always been. Although, our JV team is actually good. I don't about the varsity. When we left the game, it was tied 0 to 0 at the beginning of the 3rd. It was boring, so we just chilled the rest of the night.
But our cheerleaders are awesome, haha.
The school year looks like its going to be a dope one. I've gotten used to my schedule and the new cats in all my classes. Though, I've been separated from a whole of grip of peeps. I guess its because I took honors classes despite them not having the extra GPA point.
I've realized what classes I can fool around and just mellow out in, though. It's all groovy.
And I think there's some angels jocking me, haha.
I'm out.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 2:21 PM.9/01/02
Sunday, September 01, 2002
Now Jasmine had me thinkin she was the only one for me.
And Kristina had those angel eyes,
that changed my mind,
the day she looked at me.
Then outta nowhere you came walking in my life,
you really blew my mind.
Now I don't care about those other girls.
It's only you I need in my world.
Not sayin Elena wasn't cool,
but you changed my point of view.
Nikki was nice sweet and everythang
but nothing compares to you.
You stole my heart and I'm torn apart.
I don't wanna cause the pain.
I would gladly throw it all away,
for what I found in you today.
Excuse me my cutie...
tell me could you be, the kinda shorty just for me?
My everlasting meant to be?
From the moment I saw you,
my heart was racing.
And I can't let you walk away
So won't you tell me girl,
could you be the kinda lady that I need?
Well, could you?
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 9:49 PM.8/17//02 Cont. -or- 8/18/02
Sunday, August 18, 2002
Just thought I"d take this time to list a few of my favorites movie that you have to see before you die...or something.
Anways....here are a few:
-Sister Act 2
-The Princess Bride
-Mrs. Doubtfire
-Chasing Amy (any Kevin Smith film, haha)
-Office Space
-National Lampoon's Van Wilder
-What Women Want
-Frailty
-Fight Club
-Serendipity
-Half-Baked
-10 Things I Hate About You
-Can't Hardly Wait
-Big Trouble In Little China
-Mr. Deeds, Big Daddy, The Wedding Singer, Billy Madison (Adam Sandler, anybody?)
-Lilo and Stitch
-Chipmunk's Adventure
-Wish Upon A Star
-Friday
-Hook
-Scarface
-Coming To America, Boomerang (Eddie Murphy films are awesome)
-Def Jam's How To Be A Player
Wow, that's a lot actually. And to think that those are only the ones I could think of off the top of my head.
I guess I like movies?
Yeah, this was pointless. So is everything else?
Anywas, I'm out.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 12:33 AM.8/17/02
Saturday, August 17, 2002
And so soon starts a new year...
I find myself excited about going back. Maybe it's the fact that during this summer i've had nothing else to do but either have fun or find boredom.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't seen many cats over the summer. Maybe it's the fact that I'm tired of sleeping half the day away. Maybe it's the fact that my monthly income has shortened somewhat.
Whatever the reason is, I'm ready to embrace Sophmore year. I'm ready to be bored off my ass in class. I'm ready to quickly do homework at home. I'm ready to procrastinate on projects, working only enough to get an A that others work their asses off expecting to get an A++. I'm ready to socialize in most, if not all, my classes.
I'm ready for this.
I'm beyond ready for this.
I'll see you cats on monday.
Love to all those that know me and to those that will soon know me.
Love to live, live to love.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 10:54 PM.7/30/02
Tuesday, July 30, 2002
I think when I'm older Ima send flowers to everyone I know for no reason every week with a message and no name.
Yup. That's what ima do
Is this for you?
I'd like to whisper in you ear
All of the words you long to hear
Of how I'll always be
Right here next to thee
To wipe away your tears
And as I hold your body near
I'll see this month through to a year
And then forever on
'Til life is gone
I'll keep loving your rear
I'd treat you like a rose
Give you room to grow
Shine the light of love on thee
Give you air so you could breathe
Open doors that normally close
In this world where anything goes
Give you strength so you stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 9:42 PM.7/29/02
Monday, July 29, 2002
Haha....my friend is...um....pissed, in a word:
Roses are dead
Violets are too
I'm still in love
But not with you
You thought you hurt me
And made me cry
But I was in love
With another guy
Simply because you have
No class
All you can do
Is kiss my ass
You sit around
And talk your shit
So fuck you and your
Little ass dick
You thought you left me
But I left you
What my man is doing
You can't do
You tell your homies
You played me like a bitch
And I tell my girls
You have a little dick
You said you loved me
But it wasent true
Well guess what Motha Fucka
I played you too
Yup. Well put.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 10:14 PM.7/28/02
Sunday, July 28, 2002
"But you're a nice guy..."
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 11:48 PM.7/12/02
Friday, July 12, 2002
Everday, on the way to school...
Either in the car...
Or on the way to our "chill spot"...
There she is...
She looks up and glances...
With that radiating smile...
She and her friends all look at me...
And quickly turn away as I look up...
She turns and I smile back...
She smiles, then shies back in her huddle group...
Hmm...
She's an asian soon-to-be-junior...
I'm a soon-to-be sophmore...
Does she know that?
Does she want to know that?
Does it even matter?
I'm also shorter by about half an inch...haha
Que?
I'm out.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 10:42 PM.7/4/02
Friday, July 05, 2002
Woooo! Long time, no entry.
Anyways, today was the 4th of July. Meaning: lots and lots of grub.
Grubbed at my house, grubbed at my friend's houses and grubbed at a party.
Lots and lots of grub.
Anyways, I've recently watched Mr. Deeds and Lilo and Stitch. Both of which that you should watch, even though the latter is a Disney movie.
Then again, you should always watch Disney movies. I don't care how manly you bros are, you have to watch disney movies.
Back to Mr. Deeds. Longfellow Deeds is person that we all should be. He's kind, carefree and rich. Yes, a person I'd like to be.
Anyways, summer's been going aight. It could be so much better. Just been summer school, lunch, chilling after that, dinner and chatting at night.
Every now and then I'll do something.
Same and same. I'll see you cats later in person or online.
"Ohana means family....family means nobody is forgotten...or left behind."
Stitch is the shit.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 12:22 AM.6/23/02
Sunday, June 23, 2002
Well, the summer has been alright so far...
I guess...
I could be doing so much more with the time I have....
The way I see it, he's the "funny" one, he's the "wanted one" and I'm the "nice one who holds everything back and realizes no one truly understands him but is happen with that".
My parents swear I'm the laziest child in the world.
By the way, how's your bun doing?
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I fucking hate you."
I'm out. Love to those that know me and to those that will soon know me.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 9:17 PM.6/14/02
Friday, June 14, 2002
Wow....
I just realized today that I won't be seeing her at all over the summer...
Woke up tired and groggy this morning (as compared to...let's say, the first day of summer school, yesterday).
Went to summer school. Breezed through summer school.
What can I say? It's beyond boring. Good thing I have a grip of people to talk to during class.
Jonette and Lisa joined our ranks today as honorary members of Phan's, Charle's and my summer school schedule.
It was great.
The day was actually a great day thus far...
Went to McDonald's. Grubbed out on chicken 'mcnugget's.
Came home, stepped outside to check the mail and I basked in the beautiful sunny day that was today.
Yeah, I have a bunch of incomplete sentences that don't make sense...sorry.
Anyways, I was over at Michael's, 'juss chillin', when I realized the above statement. I wasn't going to see a bunch of of cats (her included) over the entire summer.
The day wasn't a good day suddenly. In fact, it was kind of boring after that. I was restless, and I was going to take a nap but I had too much stuff going on at the moment.
So, I didn't. And I have to wake up early again tommorow. Oh joy.
Oh well...shouldn't let a small thing like that bother me much. I'm still happy.
I'm happy right now as I'm grubbin on this KFC popcorn chicken.
This is some good stuff. I'm also drinking my A&W Cream soda that I've hidden from the rest of my family. Lemme tell you...
It's as if we're addicted to this stuff. Everyone is so anal about it. Well, just my brother and I at least. I say this because we're so open about it.
But my parents....they're pretty sneaky. That bottle will be there in the fridge one night, and 4/5 of it'll be gone in the morning.
Where did it go?
Good question...
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 10:37 PM.6/0/02
Sunday, June 09, 2002
It's sunday, and I should be doing something. Everyone is out except me.
Haha, oh well....maybe you cats could call before you get there next time?
Where am I going to catch a ride? Hehe.
It's all good.
So, bros....you want some advice, eh?
Well, Ima put it all here because I'll be sleeping early and I won't see you guys tonight.
A lot of you people have been asking about initiation.
Haha...this sounds like one of those advice/Q&A columns in the newspaper.
Anyways....
There she is. The fine broad that you've been eyeing for the past 20 minutes. You finally get the nerve to go talk to her.
But wait, before you go, ask yourself 2 questions. 1, has she returned your looks? If she has, don't be afraid to approach her.
Now, say that she's been fighting back with glares and scoffs and maybe even a finger.
Those are signs of "stay away". No, that's not a cute li'l game she's playing with you. She's telling you to "fuck off".
Secondly, have you had any interaction at all? This isn't as important as the previous mentioned idea, but it helps. By this I mean have you, on your way to get a drink, brushed by her and with a smile said, "Excuse me." ???
If yes, and she's been smiling back at you from across the room, conversation will be a little bit easier to begin. Exchanging a few words and glances gives a little comfortable ease for both you and her.
So, you walk on over. Straight line to your girl. Hmm....you don't know how to start talking to her, though.
Well, I'm sure anything will do. Just long as it isn't cheesy or retarded. Keep it simple....things like: "So, how has your evening been?"
Don't start with your ridiculous pick-up lines or compliments. Introduce yourself. Salutations, salutations. Then you can go and dig deeper into eachother.
Or something.
When talking to someone, always have good eye contact. Listen and, be honest. Don't lie and exaggerate because I know some of you imbeciles will. Keep the girl interested. Don't go on to something that she knows nothing about unless she asks. Also, don't tell "you had to be there" stories. Lastly, pay attention to her actions, it'll help signify if it's she's really liking the conversation, or if she's just being nice. When she smiles, check the outer edges of her eyes . If you see li'l wrinkles, then she's really smiling and she really did enjoy your stupid joke.
Well, um....there you go. The above is kinda ghetto and I could probably tell it better one on one. Or something.
Well, G*night people and get home safe?
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 11:39 PM.6/7/02
Friday, June 07, 2002
More pointless quizzes? Pointless, no. Quizzes, yes.
I'm friendship charms!
Awww, c'mon and hug me!
Which bracelet are you?
Made by notsobeautiful
which Episode II character are you?
Yoda. Jedi Master. Your word is pretty much gospel, as far as others are concerned. You stick to your roots and have a good head on your shoulders. You can always provide a good response to those in need of answers, or those who just want to talk. You may not look tough, but inside you've got more power than the majoirty of people.<br>
It's amazing how many quizzes are out now.
By the way, does anyone know the answer to this riddle:
What is greater than God, more evil than the devil, poor people have it, rich people need it, and if you eat it you'll die?
Hmm???
Well, I'm out.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 5:30 PM. 6/6/02
OoOoOoOoWeEeEeE! Freshman year is over!
Good times, good times.
I'm so glad school is over. It's good to know I can get my nap on more often than before.
....
Oh wait....that's right. Summer school.
Bleh....
Oh well.
Doesn't last all summer. It's all good.
Finals were surprisingly easy. Beyond easy in fact.
They just ran too long and I got tired. Almost fell asleep during my eng. and geog. finals.
I have gotten straight A's except for 2 B's in HP classes so that brings my GPA for 2nd Semester to....: 4.1??
Last semester I had gotten a 4.33...
You know, I used to get straight A's.
Maybe I'll start working next year. I'll fill you in on the outcomes of that experiment, haha.
Sign a whole grip of yearbooks this year. Not as much as last year though.
Got a lot of hugs too. Awesome.
My summer school schedule? Well, my friends, here it is:
1-2 Driver's Ed: Storrs
3-4 Health: ???
Yeah, they didn't put who my health teacher was or the room.
Oh well....I"m sure they'll tell us when we get there....or something.
I sincerely hope everyone has a sick summer. Much love to everyone.
Love to live, live to love (as I wrote in most yearbooks).
I'll see y'all at summer school or in the fall. Peace.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 12:21 AM.6/03/02
Monday, June 03, 2002
Let me tell you guys something...
I'm really going to miss my current schedule next year.
Seriously, I had the best schedule ever. The class arrangement and the people in them are awesome.
Especially 2nd per. biology. Everyone in that class is dope. Mr. Hall is tight. But I'd like to make a special shout out to my table. I'll miss you guys next year as i'm sitting in chemistry.
Tommorow will be the last time we'll be sitting with eachother like that (that is, if we don't in english). You've left me with some hilarious memories and new insights on life.
Much love to Lee, Jonette and Kristina. Even though being with you cats left me with a B- this semester, I had a great time. Hope I have classes with you guys next year.
Also much love to the other peeps in our bio class: Sean, Casey, Andrea, Katie, Adam, Roberto, Binh, Ivan, Chris, Amanda and....bleh, I think that's enough. Sorry everyone. =/
Oh well...
Anyone, I'd like to take this time to announce that almost everyone at the highschool is a dick.
Yes, I seriously think so. With the exception of a few cats, I don't believe any of my friends would really be there for me.
Take this time to contemplate on whether or not you are a dick. And if you are, in fact, a dick, take this time to try and rearrange everything.
Or something.
Everyone can go jump in a burning basura.
I'm so glad school is ending for this year.
And Phan, Michael...if you're reading this. Kiss my ass.
Anastasia is a dope movie. Don't hassle me for spending quality time with my friend and her niece.
And to everyone else, no, not that friend. In this friend's case, we're just friends.
Lastly, something I had in my 8th grade graduation speech that i didn't get to say because I never turned it in for Mr. Strathairn to pick over Bozorth's (though I doubt it becasue Jennyfer's speech was awesome):
"If life was supposed to be easy, they would have told us by now, my friends. Make due with what you have and enjoy life. Don't stay in the past. The Father of Present Time is here for a reason. Strive and anticipate the future. Lastly, do not stress on the burdens brought onto you. They will only grow stronger the more that you worry about them.
Remember my friends....love to live, live to love."
Beyond retarded, yeah? Was looking through my piles of old schoolwork this morning looking for an old phonebook thingy and found this. For some reason, this last section is still in my mind. Well, I"m out.
When I get to school and I see her beautiful face suddenly the horrible morning, sleep-reducing trip and all the bastards classes as well as classmates seem worth it.
If only I could tell her...I would, but I think we're going to just be friends. And I'm fine with that. Hey, I only have 3 years of highschool left.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 8:51 PM.5/24/02
Friday, May 24, 2002
Well then.
Long time since I've written.
Where have I been? Well, I"ve been really busy lately. Finals and all.
We've been given a whole grip of homework and whatnot.
Fun, fun, fun.
Well, 3-day Memorial Weekend coming up.
Fun, fun, fun.
I don't know why, but I was excessively tired during and right after lunch.
Thankfully, I sat next to some dope, active people during 5th period english and the movie brought me to tune.
Though, Mr. Gallegos was going all wild. I think he gave me a "check-minus" today. =)
Oh well.
I got perfect attendance and a GPA of 4.33....how sad am I?
I could have gotten a 4.5, but I didn't try...no, not hard enough.....rather, at all.
It was pretty sad when everyone had booed Ryan Axford.
I'm glad I didn't get booed....then again, I see no reason why I would. Sorry if I sound like a jackass, but it's true.
I'm not sure how many cheers i got but when I looked in the crowd to get my award, people were looking at me smiling. Throwing signs and yelling. It was awesome.
Though, the ceremony was kind of ghetto. All the awards were based on GPA alone except for the attendance and athletic awards.
The people who got students of the year, though they are some tight people that I know, in my opinion, didn't deserve those awards.
Again, it was kind of based on GPA despite them claiming it was based on all-aroundness. If you're going to award freshman student of the year, award to someone who has the passion for school. Someone more invovled and eager.
There should have been other awards as well. What awards you say? Hell, I don't know, but there weren't enough. Er....ok, scratch that. There was beyond enough awards.
But still, it was the same people being recycled over and over again.
Congrats to Akash and Ravi but anyone could have taken geometry and alg. 2 over the summer and the 1 year home-study courses.
If anyone had deserved to get that math student of the year award, it should've have been to Tammy. Hell, she didn't even take math this year. That right there is heroic in itself. She only has to take calculus left. Though, it was pretty funny hearing what people had to say when the 2 had gone up there together and hugged one another for a pose. But still, 2/3 of our student population are a bunch of jackasses. The ironic thing is, I know all of them. Does that make me a jackass as well for befriending them?
Yes, I found some of the dumbass things people did funny. Sorry.
And the slideshow was gay.
Thank you.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 6:34 PM.5/10/02 - Cont.
Friday, May 10, 2002
These seem to describe me (in my opinion).
Others have told me similar things in the past.
What do you think?
Click on the links to take the pointless quizzes yourself.
I am strong. Almost invincibly so. To attack me physically is foolish. I am not however without my soft spots. I am quiet by nature, but am in command of great force. All I ask is a little peace, and a little solidarity. Deny me my space, and I just might get angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
What's your superpower?
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 9:14 PM. 5/10/02
Being excessively happy is fun.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 7:30 PM.5/6/02 - Cont.
Monday, May 06, 2002
I constantly pull acts of stupidity on purpose to make myself feel level with the rest of the cats I usually chill with.
People tell me that I'm smarter than the average bear and I just shrug.
Why? Because, how am I supposed to respond to that?
I don't feel smart. My friends always tell me they're struggling to get good grades.
Me? I hardly do shit at all. The most work I've ever done in school was on the homework.
Classwork? I usually breeze through that shit.
Don't ask me how to get good grades. My friends put it best..."it just flows for Ryan..."
Just like everything else, it flows.
My advice? Just flow with it. Do your work.
I hate grades. They're pretty much just marks that show how much effort you're putting into your work.
I hardly put effort in. I just put in enough.
Fuck school. I don't see why I should work so hard to work the rest of my life.
Your welcome.
I'll be glad to see you all tommorow.
Why was I bitter today? The above is part of it. But there's more than one gear in the machine.
Or something.
Just flow with it.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 9:49 PM. 5/6/02
School sucks. Life doesn't.
Today was horrible. Past days haven't.
Optimistic, eh?
Usually, when I'm troubled, I flow with it and churn it into kindness, helpfulness and compliment...ness...er...yeah.
But today, I don't know. My mask crumbled and by the end of lunch I was a wreck.
But don't trip people. It's all good. Minor set back. This bro going to be back tommorow good as new.
Smiling. Laughing. Enjoying.
But you don't need to know why I was down today. But thanks for asking. Good to know people do notice and care...somewhat. Or something.
Nothing in this world is worth the stress my friends.
Nothing. Nothing at all, chil'en.
Wish I could take my own advice seriously.
Try to keep yourself happy. I am.
It'll save you a lot of shit. It has me.
Be optimistic. Be free.
Time to dream away my troubles.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 3:46 PM.5/3-.....er....5/4/02
Saturday, May 04, 2002
Party turned into kickback.
Ghetto...
But, my peeps had a good time...I think. Or was that juss the alchohol? Hmm-sha...
Yeah, I was doing the regular regulating....er...kinda.
To be honest, I don't really like myself when I'm drunk.
You can guess that when I'm older I'll be taking my drinking seriously if any.
I find that I've falling in 'like' with 2 femme fatales now....ah, the joys of adolesecence.
Unfortunately, yet fortunately, both the broads are headed into the friendship side of my boat.
Letting it ride....letting it ride. As long as everyone is content and chill, I'm happy.
I get mah-bu-hay jumped, but if my friend was untouched, I'll be happy.
I don't know. I'm just like that. I forgot that word....um.....we just reviewed it in english...
Oh well, I'm out. My peeps be sleeping and my other peeps are IMing and calling me.
G*night everyone. Have an awesome day tommorow....er...today?
"Seminal fluid?"
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 2:42 AM.5/1/02
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
1st of the month....
Me and everything around me, is unstable like Chernobyl
Ready to go at any moment, jumpin like a pogo stick
Life never lived up to my expectations, so I accept the patience
Expect the worse but now I'm pacin, back and forth
Inside I'm melting like water on wicked witches
A monster truck done came and ran over my picket fences
I had the best of life in my clinches but monkey wrenches was thrown
Like chairs kings sit on, my prayers seem to long
I fall asleep before the endin, don't even get to say Amen
I hope He understand I be on bended knees
At times, I think I'm crazy, so I say forget it
Or maybe it's the devil infiltrating and like Riddick...Bowe
I've been fighting this since them fetus days
I count from one to twenty, when I'm through, repeat the phrase
It's just a phase, it's gon all pass, but that gets old too
I'm weakening like a deacon doin dirt
What am I supposed to do?
I wanna fake my own death just to see how many people I consider my true friends would
come and pay their respects.
Today wasn't exactly the best day ever, though I carried a smiles throughout it.
At lunch, I contemplated again as I laid back on my backpack. I almost fell asleep. =)
Oh well, it's all good.
Going back to school tommorow and 'learning' and 'prepping' for tests that I'll have to take in order to stay in it.
Fun, yeah?
Tommorow's thursday, making the day after tommorow friday....
Love to live, live to love people.
Stay 'gold'.
"I remember, back in the day."
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 5:09 PM.4/30/02
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
You know what, they say that beauty's in the eye of the beholder.
So I use my third, and now I love thee silently like a boulder.
Want to be with you as I get older.
And that's my word, sure as I stand on my ancestors' shoulders.
You see through my drama and my world like a stage.
Not the same years but living in the same age.
Just the quality, not the quantity.
Follow me, definitely,
Far from probably, got to be,
You and me, beautifully, thick like pieces of the man I used to be.
Now I'm back, cause of what you do to me.
You like my reflection, better half to my whole;
Like lyrics to the beat, you the mate for my soul;
The breath for my life, my sister and my lover;
Used to have cold feet, I want you under my covers.
I can't ignore your aura 'cause it grabbed me by the hand
Like the moon pulled the tide and the tide pulled the sand
Coming to school and seeing her face makes the trip worth all the while.
I'm not a player, I just crush a lot.
...or something.
Anyways, I'm out people. Late.
Today's Score: 31-27 = 4
I'll give you the negatives:
-My friend is suffering from the stomach flu. (-5)
-My friend sulked in 3rd period. (-7)
-My friends and I forced Maddy out of her seat in english unintentionally.
I felt like an ass until I started doodling during the movie. (-10)
"You and your sister..............ARE FREE TO GO!" as if they just won a friggin' spot on The Price Is Right.
-My geography teacher, Mr. Osen, might not be teaching AP Human Geography next year due to
a decline of 5 students. Save the class, you save me as well. (-5)
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 8:47 PM.4/29/02
Monday, April 29, 2002
Can you stand the rain?
Life isn't the big pool of cream soda you think it is.
Life isn't the big pool of Eminem you think it is either.
Don't take life seriously, or it'll take you seriously.
"When one stares into the the abyss long enough, the abyss stares into you."
Food for thought.
...
Yeah, ok, I just copied that from my away message. But yeah, read it over.
Nothing in this world is worth all the stress. Let it ride.
Ebb and flow, my friends. Ebb and flow. Don't worry about it, just work it.
I know way too many people who let stress get to them.
So, they turn to many other things.
Whether it be alchohol or drugs. Why drink when you can sleep?
Or confiding in others or dancing. Why smoke when you can groove?
I made my counselor smile today. Something I've been told was impossible.
You cats who have Lacy know what I'm talking about.
Beat some ass in the most manly sport alive....badminton (or however you spell it).
I'm sitting next to a bunch of cool cats in english. It's my bio. table. =)
Geog. was extremely boring, but easy.
Ride home was relaxing, I don't know why.
Fell asleep while my friend was in the other room.
I guess I should start sleeping early....
12:30 sounds fine, yeah?
Anways, have a good day tommorow.
No, in fact, anticipate and embrace the good day you'll have tommorow.
Nobody wants to be lonely. I need a girl....
School.....
I wonder if the number of people who look forward to seeing me everyday, are the same number of people I look forward to seeing myself.
Peace be the journey, people.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 8:25 PM.4/27/02
Saturday, April 27, 2002
Can you count from 1 to 10?
Can you recite your ABC's?
If I say so, will you be there then?
If I asked you politely, would you leave?
I can count from 1 to 10.
I can recite my ABC's.
If you ask, I'll be there then.
Ask politely, I will leave.
Can you respect what I value?
Can you look at me equally?
If necessary, would you build me a statue?
If needed, would you part the sea?
I will respect what you value.
I can look at you equally.
It's neccessary, you need a statue.
For you, I'd part the sea.
Can you hold a person in need?
Can you wipe away your tears?
Someone's heart, could you read?
Someone's scared, dispell their fears?
I'll hold you in times of need.
I'll wipe away your tears.
Your heart, I can read.
I will push away your fear.
Could you love someone like I?
Do you know what I know?
Let's talk, let us try.
Together, we could flow.
I could love someone like you.
I know what you know.
My heart will no longer be blue.
Together, we could flow.
If she only knew.....
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 11:26 PM. 4/27/02
Ugh..."leave it up to RyRy to wake up late..."=/
Gues I'll have to do my community service some other time. Sorry everyone who was expecting me to be there.
Ryan posted this at 1:25 PM.4/25/02
Thursday, April 25, 2002
Well, what can I say? Everyone saw me walk around with a smile on my face and laughed at the humor I spouted.
And once again, I illuminated my facade with a disguise from my collection. Everyone in my biology class my stunning array
of jest.
So yeah, tommorow'll be my birthday. But you guys probably won't be reading this until tommorow and after, so it's a little late.
Oh well, I advertised enough this month, heh. I wonder what's going to go down? Will I get presents? Balloons? Money? Birthday punches?
Fun for everyone. But, seriously, I'd rather just get a 'happy birthday' from everyone than money or balloons or present. I have enough $$$.
But then again, I wouldn't mind any of the aformentioned items.
Found out my 'friends', being the intelligently declined bastards they are spread the word that my brothers and I were alone for a month.
Now, everyone from the volleyball team to drama cats to the 'geeks' and beyond are asking me about it.
I don't mind having everyone know, I just wanted them to get the message from me.
I told a few people, and I had this idea that we could get some down time or I could get some alone time finally.
Because I hardly get any alone time. A teenager has a lot to balance out.
But now, I'm getting more phone calls, IMs, text messages and conversations with people.
Even people I hardly converse with are asking when the party is going to begin.
Well, we're having a lil' 'shin dig' tommorow. If you want to call it a party, go ahead. Set your self aflame.
As long as nothing is damaged, you guys can chill.
No, I didn't vote. Sorry everyone. I promised each and every one of you that I'd vote for you.
Not very smart on my part. I hate it when I know almost everyone on the ballot. It makes it that much harder to vote.
I said to myself, "Ok. Choose the person best appointed for the job."
The truth is, each and everyone of them are capable.
I didn't vote today. I'm going to vote tommorow. And then I'm going to leave the President section on the ballot blank.
My schedule this year was tiight. I only hope that next year's schedule will be awesome as well.
And I hope next year, I won't have to work as I didn't this year. When I get to college, I'm not going to try at all.
Funny, I said that same thing last year about highschool, and it almost came true.
Love to live, live to love. Peace be the journey.
Love to all those that know me and to those that will soon know me.
Now back to Wish Upon A Star. Good thing none of my bro's are reading this (I think). I'm such a damn herb (AKA dork).
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 9:22 PM.4/24/02
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
Interesting day today...
They're now gone....for a month....what am I going to do?! Ga-Hag-Ya!
I was called/told many things throughout the day.
Kristina said I was 'cool'. As if I knew what that meant.
Various people told me I'm nice. I'm just flowing.
It was brought to my attention that I'm "rich" and I'm too loose with my money. I wish money meant something more to me. Still, I budget the shit.
I was told that I"m funny. Do you think trying to start the wave in the middle of testing is funny? Seriously, Binh, I really wanted it to happen.
A lot of peeps also asked why I wasn't running for anything. To be honest, I didn't know about sign-ups and even if I did, I don't think I would've ran for anything.
They say I would've been a great choice to represent our class. I highly doubt it. I get bored easily.
Sure, I can converse with a crowd if I wanted to. Yes, I could take your ideas and report them to the 'upper classman'. But, no, that's not enough.
They said that if I had ran, they would have voted for me. Bullshit you would have (excuse my french). You wouldn't have voted at all.
But, if I were President, I would've prolly started off by trying to revert all this peppy, conformed, pop shit that the ASB is stationed at.
Also try to revamp their sign approaches. But, again, that's not enough.
I'm not saying that that's all that ASB does, but you try telling me what else ASB does.
Exactly, you don't know. The student population doesn't even participate enough to know the inner workings of ASB or even to ask for stuff.
We can't do our job without your consent and insight.
You guys are always constantly bitching about the school and it's wrecked condition.
First of all, it all starts with you. Keep the campus clean. Stop throwing shit at the seagulls (forgive my french).
Leave the ducks that occassionally visit alone you cruel, cruel bastards. Tell the advisors what you want.
Only then can the school start improving. But, just remember, the ASB can't do everything. Not with Mr. Singh.
Besides, I probably wouldn't have won anyhow running up against cats such as:
the beautiful, fervent Kristina Schroeder;
the sophisticated, fervent Amy Lee;
-and-
the trenchant, fervent Brittney Sochaiwsky (I know I just decimated her name...)
There, some vocabulary for you to look up and learn. And yes, fervent has 3 different definitions. Mix and match, see what works. =)
If there was some freak chance that I did win, I probably wouldn't have changed the school as much as any of these 3 will. I'd be looking at
my position as advocate of next year's sophmore class as an extra mark on my transcript.
Sure, maybe later on in my highschool life I'll run again. But at that time, I'll know when the sign-ups are, I'll know why I'm running for myself and I'll have
a whole grip of supporters.
But for now, I'm going to bubble on some cream soda, cool my mind. As you might have perceived, I'm not in an especially chippy mood as of now.
Why? Maybe tommorow, maybe. Yeah, I'll tell you all tommorow...I think.
I can't think straight after I rant. Good thing it doens't happen often.
Stuck on the fences that separate 'cool', funny, intelligent and romantic. Though I travel each section's perimeters constantly, I've yet to cross over.
The only things I've learned in school have been from my fellow classmates, not the teachers.
Well, I'm out. Cream soda is gone and Whose Line Is It Anyways? is on.
See you all manana. G*night. Love to live, live to love.
By the way, is it just me or does Jerry Renault remind you of a Packard with a high-pitched, sqeaky voice? The peeps who've seen The Chocolate War know what I'm talking about.
Anways, I'm out.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 10:22 PM.4/23/02
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
Someone came up and asked me about my hair today.
I told her the same thing I always say:
"It keeps me balanced."
A lot of people have asked me what that means I've never really told anyone before.
Well, it's a little hard, but I'll try explain.
See, back in the day I was always making fun of people. Not to their faces, but not out loud either.
Because of my "heightened intelligence" I had this stupid idea that I was better than everyone.
While talking to others, I was always secretly pointing out their flaws in my mind.
Well, during one trip to San Francisco, I underwent a haircut. Since my oldest brother had gotten one, I got one as well (plus
the fact that my cousins kept asking me 'why not?', hehe). It was the "breaker haircut". Shaved head with nothing but the
bangs.
Came back. It was all good. But, I knew that just like how I was mocking people in my mind, people were doing the same to me.
I was angry. See, I'm not used to being made fun of seriously and I wasn't either back then.
I wanted a normal haircut again.
But I stopped myself. I realized how stupid it was to judge people. I kept the haircut and over the next few years went through a
mental relapse. Whenever I thought of the flaws in a person, I remembered my hair. It kept me balance.
Since then, I've never made fun of person seriously. At least, I hope I haven't.
At the same time, it's help me filter the people of our society.
When I first meet people, I know they're focusing on my hair in their head.
But, it helps people get passed the physical somewhat.
But no matter what you say, I know you're reading this over and saying to yourself, "Right. Anyways, you still look retarded."
Nobody admits it, but you all want me to get a haircut. You might be saying to yourself, "No, seriously Ryan. It looks good."
But deep down inside, you wouldn't mind seeing me with a different style.
Well, I forgive you, people. Live with it.
Oh, in case you're wondering....
Today's Score: 20-16 = 4
-Made an ass out of myself in P.E. It was fun. (+5)
-Annoyed my partner, Simon, because I couldn't serve the damn birdie. Hehe. (-2)
-Won all 3 games. (+5)
-Contemplate on my school-life and my social life. Found something about myself. (+5)
-My remake of "Starry Night" is looking like shit, despite what my table says. (-4)
-Wondered why I hang out with the peeps I do during my time at lunch. Mad cause I was being a superficial bastard. (-10)
-SAT 9 went well. I did fairly well on the Bio. conversed, mingled and humored before, in-between, during and after the test.
Not a bad way to start a day. (+5)
Anways people, I'm out. Love to live, live to love. Peace.
I hate school. If not for the persons there I see every day, I wouldn't go. Or at least, try to not go.
See y'all there. Keep yourselves happy. It'll save you a lot of trouble.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 4:53 PM.4/22/02
Monday, April 22, 2002
First time using this Blogger shignizzy. It's not bad.
Well, today was actually a good day. That is after you filter all the negative material.
"Negative material?" I can hear you all thinking.
Well, maybe not negative as in completely bad or evil. More like, wind shifting the way my leaf is going.
What I mean is, demonstatratums that went awry.
Lost 2 deals today. Which means I lost myself 40 d's. But it's all good. Easily made up in a matter of days. (-2)
Also, talked to the person I wanted to talk to most, but made a complete ass of myself. Then again, I always do.
Not exactly in the sense that I made an ass out of myself that she thinks i'm a total gimp, but more like,
let's-just-be-friends ass out of myself. (-4)
And then, I didn't talk to the people I needed/wanted to talk to. (-6)
SAT 9 math offset me in the morning. Was only halfway when we had 8 minutes left. Luckily, the last 20 problems were
beyond basic. (-20)
You keeping score? I am.
Well, talked to a lot of people today.
Made some laugh. Made some think. Made some bewildered. Made some smile. (+4)
Made my teachers laugh. (+16)
Gave advice:
Arianne, don't worry. He'll come back. Just wait it out of pursue. You both want eachother back, you both just have too much pride to admit it. (+10)
Jasmine, hope it's all good. I'm sorry to hear that. Just talk it over with her, set it straight. She's a nice broad. She'll understand. (+10)
Jun, bro. Seriously, limit yourself at the next party. Don't want anything like that happening again. I won't back you up next time. (+5)
I hate school, yet I'm going again tommorow. See you guys and sincerely hope you cats have a nice day tommorow.
Today's Score - 45-32 = 13
Oooh....good or bad? You decide.
Anways. G*night.
-Ryan
Ryan posted this at 10:38 PM.
